(Samiam)
I have a paper due tonight that I really need to work on so I don't have a lot of time but I promise I'll start posting about things other than my work-outs soon. J and I have a super busy week-end... we're celebrating a friend's wedding and then his niece is being christened Sunday morning, so we'll spending a good portion of the week-end with his family. Next week-end, I have a good friend coming into town and staying with us because some of my sorority sisters are having a mini-reunion here in Orlando. Also, I start my internship next week. And I'm still looking for a job. If I haven't mentioned that.
Anyway... I'm writing today to discuss my serious irritation with Blogger. My best friend, Z, mentioned something last night that I've been thinking for awhile. Blogger has been a great "starter" support system, but it has some serious limitations. The layout being a major one. And, for some reason, even though it's owned by Google (my love for Google knows no bounds) and Chrome is owned by Google, they don't always support each other. And that makes me angry. And I don't have the emotional energy to be angry at my browser, I really don't.
I also really don't want to have to switch because I'm comfortable here, but I know that I'm really serious about making this blog a real venture and I just don't think I can do that here. Thus begins the slow painful process of switching... to Wordpress? Lots of bloggers I know use it and love it. Anyone out there that can help me (us) out? I'd like to switch my blog over, with the same domain name, and without losing any of my posts. And I'd like to do it before I have so many posts (or readers-haha) that it becomes insurmountable. Is that possible? Help. Please.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just dance.
(Lady Gaga. I like to listen to it when I work out. Hush.)
Update on the 40 Day Challenge!
Yesterday I started incorporating the Intro. to Iron Pumping work-out in. It kicked my butt, but that's a good thing, right? The only thing I didn't do was the Cable Triceps Extension because I worked out from home instead of going to the gym. Also, if it called for weights, I used my little two pounders. Don't mock, I have no upper body strength! Hence, me doing this in the first place. Though, it was pretty easy and next time I'll probably use some of J's weights. I just like that mine are hand-held and easy to control.
So: Shoulders, Chest and Triceps consist of the following: Overhead Press, Dips, Stability Ball Push-Ups, Planks, Lateral Raise, and Stability Ball Leg Lifts. I did three sets of ten reps for each- except the planks. I did three sets of 5 reps each for those. Tedium more than tiredness. Also, the Stability Ball Push-Ups did. not. go. well. They work, but they will make you feel oh so stupid. You can find the full work-out here: Intro. to Iron Pumping.
Which brings us to....
Day 1- Couch to 5k Week 1, Day 1- Time: 35 minutes
Day 2- Wii Fit- Time: 20 minutes
Day 3- Couch to 5k, W1D2- Time: 35 minutes
Day 4- Walk Sam for 2 1/2 miles- Time: 45 minutes (He likes to stop. A lot.)
Day 5- Couch to 5k- W1D3- Time: 35 minutes
Day 6- Wii Fit- Time 21 minutes
Day 7- Couch to 5k- Week 2, Day 1- Time: 31 minutes
Day 8- Intro. to Iron Pumping- Shoulders, Chest, Triceps- Time: 30 minutes
Day 9- Couch to 5K, W2D2- Time: 35 minutes
Update on the 40 Day Challenge!
Yesterday I started incorporating the Intro. to Iron Pumping work-out in. It kicked my butt, but that's a good thing, right? The only thing I didn't do was the Cable Triceps Extension because I worked out from home instead of going to the gym. Also, if it called for weights, I used my little two pounders. Don't mock, I have no upper body strength! Hence, me doing this in the first place. Though, it was pretty easy and next time I'll probably use some of J's weights. I just like that mine are hand-held and easy to control.
So: Shoulders, Chest and Triceps consist of the following: Overhead Press, Dips, Stability Ball Push-Ups, Planks, Lateral Raise, and Stability Ball Leg Lifts. I did three sets of ten reps for each- except the planks. I did three sets of 5 reps each for those. Tedium more than tiredness. Also, the Stability Ball Push-Ups did. not. go. well. They work, but they will make you feel oh so stupid. You can find the full work-out here: Intro. to Iron Pumping.
Which brings us to....
Day 1- Couch to 5k Week 1, Day 1- Time: 35 minutes
Day 2- Wii Fit- Time: 20 minutes
Day 3- Couch to 5k, W1D2- Time: 35 minutes
Day 4- Walk Sam for 2 1/2 miles- Time: 45 minutes (He likes to stop. A lot.)
Day 5- Couch to 5k- W1D3- Time: 35 minutes
Day 6- Wii Fit- Time 21 minutes
Day 7- Couch to 5k- Week 2, Day 1- Time: 31 minutes
Day 8- Intro. to Iron Pumping- Shoulders, Chest, Triceps- Time: 30 minutes
Day 9- Couch to 5K, W2D2- Time: 35 minutes
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
you're the icing on the cake on the table at my wake
(Modest Mouse. One of my favorite songs by them, "You're the Good Things".)
SIGH. I am having a very stressful day. I'm at a coffee shop that I love, Stardust, totally unprepared to somehow host a book club meeting that I was planning on skipping, hoping that the playground across the street doesn't tow my car because there's never enough parking here and I should be working on research for my group project for the meeting we're having tonight, but I just unloaded a torrent of stress on my poor Mother and now I'm feeling guilty and I have to get it all out or I will implode before I can make it back home tonight.
At least I'm in the best possible place. It's quiet in here, they're playing soothing music, and I'm drinking a mocha to calm my nerves. (It's been a few days since I had an afternoon headache, so either the caffeine uptake is working or... insert something witty here. It's probably the caffeine.)
Today, I worked for hours on an exercise (not even a full fledged assignment mind you) for one of my classes- it's all HTML and XHTML and CSS. I finished it, uploaded it (after some minor difficulties) and it's not doing what it's supposed to do. Specifically, my images aren't "floating" to the left and right. I can fix it and it's not due until tomorrow but I hate leaving something unfinished like that and I ran out of time to deal with it. Partially because it seems like whenever I'm engaged in something that actually requires my focus the universe plots to derail me with every distraction and interruption possible.
Also, I agreed to last minute host our book club meeting tonight (I love my book club, found them through meetup.com, details at a later post) because our organizer had something to take care of and she was desperate and asked me and I have a problem saying no. (Cue Oklahoma.) I don't so much have a problem with hosting, I'm fine with speaking in public and I've been to several meetings, yadda yadda... but, the past three books our club has chosen (we vote on one out of five) have been "Survivor" by Chuck Pahlanuik, "I Am Legend" and "Children of Men". I was an English Lit. (and History) major. My life does not need more anti-utopian, post-apocalyptic, post-post-modern, the world is shit literature- thanks. So... basically, I didn't read it. I have been reading! (Yet another post.) And I bought the book. And planned on reading it. I just didn't read it in time. Oh. And I have class tonight from 6:00-7:30. Meeting? Starts at 7:00. Which, if I wasn't hosting, would be totally fine. But a host sort of has to be present and not distracted by silly little things, like, class. Or group meetings.
None of which I am prepared for me. So. I'm hosting a book club meeting for a book I haven't read during a class where I will have a group meeting that I haven't prepared for. Awesome.
Also, I found out today that the meeting I had last week with a local library about volunteering/unpaid interning went even better than I thought, because they want me to start next week. It would be in their Reference section- which is also basically their Collections Management. It's awesome first-hand experience, will look great on my resume, and is a fantastic networking opportunity. All of the librarians in Reference graduated from the same program as me, everyone in the library was super nice (they all knew who I was when the Assistant Director introduced me) and the schedule they want me to work should be fairly well- it's three or four days a week for 4 or 5 hours a day. Awesome, right?
Well, it is. Except for the whole unpaid thing. I really really need some sort of income. J and I are fine as far as having all of our bills paid, but I would really like to pay off our credit cards/start on the student loans as soon as possible and also get married. Weddings cost money. Clearly. Cars (I have J's Mom's right now- long story- and it is awesome, but also not mine) and honeymoons and vacations and babies (at some point) and life life life just costs so much damn money. And everything I read is telling me to save save save and pay off my debt and it is just so clear that I need to get at least a part time job, since full time isn't really an option with work and internship. There just aren't that many jobs out there and we can't pick up and move right now to where they are and I can't make jobs appear out of thin air. I don't want to work full time, but I would if it were in a library and helpful to me in the future. I mean, clearly, I would love to get a job in a library but that will be much easier once I have my degree and more experience. More experience that it looks like I can only get from taking an unpaid position. I am terrified of graduating next year and it being worthless because I don't have enough experience.
So then I'm faced with trying to find a part-time job. I don't see the point in working full time for something that isn't in my field because the amount of money that I'd be making would be limited anyway and I would be taking time away from both school and the opportunity to gain experience in a library elsewhere. So. Part-time job. Where am I going to get that? A few months ago, I really didn't want to work retail and now I've gotten to the point where I just don't care... I just need to be making some small amount of money. But, I feel like most part-time positions don't have set schedules, which stresses me, and the thought of trying to juggle the part-time schedule with the internship (um, plus J's schedule?) makes me hyperventilate. And trying to find a job that will even work around my class schedule and an internship? How am I going to do that? I feel like places won't even consider me if they have someone else that has an open schedule.
Someone tell me that I can make this all work?
I hate having my whole life and my whole schedule up in the air. I am a planner. And for the last nine months, and for the foreseeable future, I have not been able to definitively say anything about mine and J's schedule. And it sucks. It makes me feel like I have no control over my own life. And I know that I should be able to make it all work, I know that it's possible in theory for other people, and I really don't want to have to make the choice between doing what I know is right for my career and our life and financial situation in the long run (internship) and doing what will make me feel instantly better and worthwhile and take the pressure off and possibly help with the long term financial situation or at least not make it worse (job). So, now it's just the whole finding a job and making it work part. I would say it's the hardest part of all, but Jesus, job hunting sucks beyond belief.
On the positive side. My classes are going really well, despite my slacking and life continues to come together despite me. Points in case- My wonderful amazing boyfriend bought me this mini laptop for Christmas so that I can actually go to a coffee shop and not get work done, I was able to guilt my friend MR into meeting me for this meeting, and despite everything- I went to the gym today and did the first day of week two of Couch to 5k. And even if everything else is falling down around my ears, I accomplished that. I know that I'm going to enjoy this internship- I love my program, I know I'm doing the right thing for me, and I love libraries (yet another post) and I know that it's possible to make it all work. I just have to keep repeating that to myself until it actually happens.
SIGH. I am having a very stressful day. I'm at a coffee shop that I love, Stardust, totally unprepared to somehow host a book club meeting that I was planning on skipping, hoping that the playground across the street doesn't tow my car because there's never enough parking here and I should be working on research for my group project for the meeting we're having tonight, but I just unloaded a torrent of stress on my poor Mother and now I'm feeling guilty and I have to get it all out or I will implode before I can make it back home tonight.
At least I'm in the best possible place. It's quiet in here, they're playing soothing music, and I'm drinking a mocha to calm my nerves. (It's been a few days since I had an afternoon headache, so either the caffeine uptake is working or... insert something witty here. It's probably the caffeine.)
Today, I worked for hours on an exercise (not even a full fledged assignment mind you) for one of my classes- it's all HTML and XHTML and CSS. I finished it, uploaded it (after some minor difficulties) and it's not doing what it's supposed to do. Specifically, my images aren't "floating" to the left and right. I can fix it and it's not due until tomorrow but I hate leaving something unfinished like that and I ran out of time to deal with it. Partially because it seems like whenever I'm engaged in something that actually requires my focus the universe plots to derail me with every distraction and interruption possible.
Also, I agreed to last minute host our book club meeting tonight (I love my book club, found them through meetup.com, details at a later post) because our organizer had something to take care of and she was desperate and asked me and I have a problem saying no. (Cue Oklahoma.) I don't so much have a problem with hosting, I'm fine with speaking in public and I've been to several meetings, yadda yadda... but, the past three books our club has chosen (we vote on one out of five) have been "Survivor" by Chuck Pahlanuik, "I Am Legend" and "Children of Men". I was an English Lit. (and History) major. My life does not need more anti-utopian, post-apocalyptic, post-post-modern, the world is shit literature- thanks. So... basically, I didn't read it. I have been reading! (Yet another post.) And I bought the book. And planned on reading it. I just didn't read it in time. Oh. And I have class tonight from 6:00-7:30. Meeting? Starts at 7:00. Which, if I wasn't hosting, would be totally fine. But a host sort of has to be present and not distracted by silly little things, like, class. Or group meetings.
None of which I am prepared for me. So. I'm hosting a book club meeting for a book I haven't read during a class where I will have a group meeting that I haven't prepared for. Awesome.
Also, I found out today that the meeting I had last week with a local library about volunteering/unpaid interning went even better than I thought, because they want me to start next week. It would be in their Reference section- which is also basically their Collections Management. It's awesome first-hand experience, will look great on my resume, and is a fantastic networking opportunity. All of the librarians in Reference graduated from the same program as me, everyone in the library was super nice (they all knew who I was when the Assistant Director introduced me) and the schedule they want me to work should be fairly well- it's three or four days a week for 4 or 5 hours a day. Awesome, right?
Well, it is. Except for the whole unpaid thing. I really really need some sort of income. J and I are fine as far as having all of our bills paid, but I would really like to pay off our credit cards/start on the student loans as soon as possible and also get married. Weddings cost money. Clearly. Cars (I have J's Mom's right now- long story- and it is awesome, but also not mine) and honeymoons and vacations and babies (at some point) and life life life just costs so much damn money. And everything I read is telling me to save save save and pay off my debt and it is just so clear that I need to get at least a part time job, since full time isn't really an option with work and internship. There just aren't that many jobs out there and we can't pick up and move right now to where they are and I can't make jobs appear out of thin air. I don't want to work full time, but I would if it were in a library and helpful to me in the future. I mean, clearly, I would love to get a job in a library but that will be much easier once I have my degree and more experience. More experience that it looks like I can only get from taking an unpaid position. I am terrified of graduating next year and it being worthless because I don't have enough experience.
So then I'm faced with trying to find a part-time job. I don't see the point in working full time for something that isn't in my field because the amount of money that I'd be making would be limited anyway and I would be taking time away from both school and the opportunity to gain experience in a library elsewhere. So. Part-time job. Where am I going to get that? A few months ago, I really didn't want to work retail and now I've gotten to the point where I just don't care... I just need to be making some small amount of money. But, I feel like most part-time positions don't have set schedules, which stresses me, and the thought of trying to juggle the part-time schedule with the internship (um, plus J's schedule?) makes me hyperventilate. And trying to find a job that will even work around my class schedule and an internship? How am I going to do that? I feel like places won't even consider me if they have someone else that has an open schedule.
Someone tell me that I can make this all work?
I hate having my whole life and my whole schedule up in the air. I am a planner. And for the last nine months, and for the foreseeable future, I have not been able to definitively say anything about mine and J's schedule. And it sucks. It makes me feel like I have no control over my own life. And I know that I should be able to make it all work, I know that it's possible in theory for other people, and I really don't want to have to make the choice between doing what I know is right for my career and our life and financial situation in the long run (internship) and doing what will make me feel instantly better and worthwhile and take the pressure off and possibly help with the long term financial situation or at least not make it worse (job). So, now it's just the whole finding a job and making it work part. I would say it's the hardest part of all, but Jesus, job hunting sucks beyond belief.
On the positive side. My classes are going really well, despite my slacking and life continues to come together despite me. Points in case- My wonderful amazing boyfriend bought me this mini laptop for Christmas so that I can actually go to a coffee shop and not get work done, I was able to guilt my friend MR into meeting me for this meeting, and despite everything- I went to the gym today and did the first day of week two of Couch to 5k. And even if everything else is falling down around my ears, I accomplished that. I know that I'm going to enjoy this internship- I love my program, I know I'm doing the right thing for me, and I love libraries (yet another post) and I know that it's possible to make it all work. I just have to keep repeating that to myself until it actually happens.
Is this the end or just the start?
(Voxtrot)
I thought I would give you guys an update on the whole 40 Days plan. I've stuck to it so far! I started on February 17th.
Day 1- Couch to 5k Week 1, Day 1- Time: 35 minutes
Day 2- Wii Fit- Time: 20 minutes
Day 3- Couch to 5k, W1D2- Time: 35 minutes
Day 4- Walk Sam for 2 1/2 miles- Time: 45 minutes (He likes to stop. A lot.)
Day 5- Couch to 5k- W1D3- Time: 35 minutes
Day 6- Wii Fit- Time 21 minutes
This week, I'm conquering Couch to 5k Week 2 and adding in the Intro. to Pumping Iron Program from the Fitnessista. I'm sore just thinking about it.
It's also a week into mine and J's diet regimen. Mostly, we're just focusing on small things. I'm not the kind of person that deals well with being deprived. The more I can't have something, the more I want it. So, the focus is to eat at home as much as possible, eat more veggies, and stay away from too many processed foods. Basically, we're not completely denying anything, we're just trying not to buy it- since it's much harder to consume if it's not in the house and we're not eating out very often.
Specifically, we're cutting down on eating red meat, trying to eat fish at least once a week, and trying to eat no meat at least one day a week. Which is really hard for me, because I love steak. SIGH It also meant that I basically gave up Five Guys. Double sigh. Also, soda and candy. Which aren't major things for us anyway, but seemed like a good add in. Oh, and we're cutting down our wine intake to twice a week. Partially because it's expensive and partially for the health reasons.
Only a week in, but so far so good. Baby steps.
I thought I would give you guys an update on the whole 40 Days plan. I've stuck to it so far! I started on February 17th.
Day 1- Couch to 5k Week 1, Day 1- Time: 35 minutes
Day 2- Wii Fit- Time: 20 minutes
Day 3- Couch to 5k, W1D2- Time: 35 minutes
Day 4- Walk Sam for 2 1/2 miles- Time: 45 minutes (He likes to stop. A lot.)
Day 5- Couch to 5k- W1D3- Time: 35 minutes
Day 6- Wii Fit- Time 21 minutes
This week, I'm conquering Couch to 5k Week 2 and adding in the Intro. to Pumping Iron Program from the Fitnessista. I'm sore just thinking about it.
It's also a week into mine and J's diet regimen. Mostly, we're just focusing on small things. I'm not the kind of person that deals well with being deprived. The more I can't have something, the more I want it. So, the focus is to eat at home as much as possible, eat more veggies, and stay away from too many processed foods. Basically, we're not completely denying anything, we're just trying not to buy it- since it's much harder to consume if it's not in the house and we're not eating out very often.
Specifically, we're cutting down on eating red meat, trying to eat fish at least once a week, and trying to eat no meat at least one day a week. Which is really hard for me, because I love steak. SIGH It also meant that I basically gave up Five Guys. Double sigh. Also, soda and candy. Which aren't major things for us anyway, but seemed like a good add in. Oh, and we're cutting down our wine intake to twice a week. Partially because it's expensive and partially for the health reasons.
Only a week in, but so far so good. Baby steps.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down.
(Gin Blossoms)
I love the Gin Blossoms. Nothing screams 90's to me more than they do. Listening to them always makes me happy. I had a totally lovely day today (went to the gym early in the morning, 70 degree weather, wore a dress, phone date with my best friend, saw a chick flick with another friend, coffee and a Target run with yet another, twilight walk with the dog, was good about money, etc. so on and so forth.) I was driving home from my lovely day and listening to Gin Blossoms with the windows down and was feeling fantastic.
And then it hit. That minute of panic-dread that arrives first thing (almost) every morning and in any other time that I am unexpectedly content. It's a big part of my anxiousness and it's sort of hard to explain. Almost like a self-check... like, I'm feeling good, what am I missing? What am I forgetting? What is it that I haven't thought of that will potentially fuck this up? Almost like- I don't want to test the universe and be too happy.
I don't know why I feel like I don't deserve it. No matter what I do lately, it never seems like enough. I'm the only one putting the pressure on- but it just feels like even if the house IS perfect and the homework IS done and I DID, in fact, call my parents... it's just not enough because there is still some other way that I am not measuring up. Lately, it's the whole not having money because I don't have a job thing. Even though I'm going to school and I'm trying and yadda yadda. The job thing is a whole another post.
But the not-quite-measuring-up thing? Or the not being too happy and tempting the universe to deal me some karmic retribution? That is something that I have to be very careful about. I know that I have to be patient on the job front. It's more of being a little bit easier on myself in general and recognizing the fact that I am good, I do deserve good things, and that it's actually possible to be happy, and content even, without everything being totally perfect.
I don't want to be the kind of person that isn't grateful for every little blessing. I don't want to be the kind of person that can't relax or the kind of person that can't see the big picture. I don't want to be the kind of person that ruins things or events or days because I'm focused on what isn't there or what hasn't been done or whatever thing I think I'm failing at.
So.
Instead of letting my anxiousness ruin my otherwise awesome day, I made a pit stop at Cavallari's (a local gourmet grocer) and picked up all the stuff for dinner for me and J tonight. I came home and took that twilight walk with Sam in this gorgeous weather and reveled in wearing a dress. I took the time to stop and write and be thankful for all the things I managed to get right today. That way, when I look back on today I won't see what wasn't here... I'll only remember how all the great little things made this totally ordinary Sunday completely lovely.
I love the Gin Blossoms. Nothing screams 90's to me more than they do. Listening to them always makes me happy. I had a totally lovely day today (went to the gym early in the morning, 70 degree weather, wore a dress, phone date with my best friend, saw a chick flick with another friend, coffee and a Target run with yet another, twilight walk with the dog, was good about money, etc. so on and so forth.) I was driving home from my lovely day and listening to Gin Blossoms with the windows down and was feeling fantastic.
And then it hit. That minute of panic-dread that arrives first thing (almost) every morning and in any other time that I am unexpectedly content. It's a big part of my anxiousness and it's sort of hard to explain. Almost like a self-check... like, I'm feeling good, what am I missing? What am I forgetting? What is it that I haven't thought of that will potentially fuck this up? Almost like- I don't want to test the universe and be too happy.
I don't know why I feel like I don't deserve it. No matter what I do lately, it never seems like enough. I'm the only one putting the pressure on- but it just feels like even if the house IS perfect and the homework IS done and I DID, in fact, call my parents... it's just not enough because there is still some other way that I am not measuring up. Lately, it's the whole not having money because I don't have a job thing. Even though I'm going to school and I'm trying and yadda yadda. The job thing is a whole another post.
But the not-quite-measuring-up thing? Or the not being too happy and tempting the universe to deal me some karmic retribution? That is something that I have to be very careful about. I know that I have to be patient on the job front. It's more of being a little bit easier on myself in general and recognizing the fact that I am good, I do deserve good things, and that it's actually possible to be happy, and content even, without everything being totally perfect.
I don't want to be the kind of person that isn't grateful for every little blessing. I don't want to be the kind of person that can't relax or the kind of person that can't see the big picture. I don't want to be the kind of person that ruins things or events or days because I'm focused on what isn't there or what hasn't been done or whatever thing I think I'm failing at.
So.
Instead of letting my anxiousness ruin my otherwise awesome day, I made a pit stop at Cavallari's (a local gourmet grocer) and picked up all the stuff for dinner for me and J tonight. I came home and took that twilight walk with Sam in this gorgeous weather and reveled in wearing a dress. I took the time to stop and write and be thankful for all the things I managed to get right today. That way, when I look back on today I won't see what wasn't here... I'll only remember how all the great little things made this totally ordinary Sunday completely lovely.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
do it do it do it now
(Hot Chip)
So, dating a chef definitely has it perks, as you can well imagine. It's nice to have a shared interest (I love cooking) and the food perks are nice and we have all the best kitchen equipment. It also has it's not so great aspects. Like the shitty schedule and trying to get certain peculiar stains out of white (seriously, who's idea was that?) chef coats. Most notably, since I have moved in with J, I have gained a lot of weight. For me, anyway.
I've been naturally teeny (literally) my whole life, so while I am a totally healthy BMI (probably for the first time in my life) and what most people would consider an ideal weight, I have a hard time dealing with the extra pounds. It's not that I care about the size on my jeans or the number on the scale. It's simply that I want to feel better and I've never had to watch what I eat or try to motivate myself to work out before. I danced all through high school and just sort of did whatever I felt like for most of college. And then last year in D.C. with the cold... I just sort of stopped moving.
J and I joined a gym when I moved here and I spent a couple of months sort of going and then we got Sam and I somehow convinced myself that walking the dog was exercise enough. And with the metabolism I had at 22, it probably was. But, being almost 26 and the most out of shape I have ever been, it simply isn't. I want to get fit for a lot of reasons, partially as a confidence thing, but also as a health thing. My Mom is a diabetic, so is J's Mom and I'd like to try to start having a family in a few years. I need to get into the best shape humanly possible and I need to do it now so that I can focus on maintaining it- and not constantly starting over from scratch.
I still have the gym membership, and the dog, and even a Wii Fit but what I've never had is accountability. I have great girlfriends, but most of my best ones are far away and most of the ones that are here I don't feel comfortable working out with. J has a weird chef's schedule and regardless, this is something that I really want to do on my own, to prove that I can start and finish something. That being said, I would like some support, even if it's completely virtual.
For Lent, J and I made a list of things that we're "giving up" and things that we're going to start doing. (Which I will post at another time.) It's really just some diet adjustments and some loose goals as far as exercising goes. To make things more concrete, I've set some of my own. First, I want to be able to run a 5k without stopping. Don't laugh, internets, it's not as easy as it looks. I've heard amazing things about the Couch to 5k plan from Cool Running really working for a lot of people and there's an iPhone app that's amazingly helpful for following it. I did Day 1 yesterday.
Second, I'd like to build some muscle. I'm going to be loosely following an Intro to Iron Pumping plan from the Fitnessista. Muscle burning fat and needing toning and all that. So, as far as the whole accountability thing goes, I have done a very scary thing and signed up for Iowa Girl Eats' 40 Day Challenge for Lent. Moving, 20 minutes a day, for the next 40ish days of Lent. I'm totally terrified of directing a bunch of strangers and friends to come scrutinize my blog and whether or not I'm working out, but I hope that it makes me actually motivated enough to follow through with it. Not to mention the fact that I'm fairly certain an ex-boyfriend of mine who was a body builder stops by here on occasion.
Moving on. On days that I'm not scheduled to run, I'll either Wii Fit, take Sam for an extra long walk, or go to a class. National free yoga day was a few weeks ago and I went to an awesome class at a local yoga studio. I'll keep you guys posted (ha) on how it's going. So far, Day 1 and 2 are done. (I Wii Fitted today.) 38 days to go.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
no way of knowing how much time you have borrowed
(Samiam)
I've been working all week and this post about my dog, Sam, but it's falling flat for me and I'm not ready to post it yet. I'd say it's been an interesting week but not a lot has happened. Oh, there was a major car upgrade (which deserves it's own post and some new mix CDs) and a lovely Valentine's Day, but mostly nothing game changing. Despite the lack of interesting events (or maybe because of the lack of them) I've had a bunch of internal dialogue raging around my brain.
I often feel like I'm being pulled in all directions at once and no matter how much time I have, it never seems like it's enough. You'd think that being unemployed would give me extra time to say, go to the gym or update my blog or e-mail all my friends, but it really doesn't. I feel more pressure now than ever to be productive and simultaneously take advantage of this "time off". Meaning that I feel like my house should be perfect, my dog should get the recommended two hours of exercise everyday, I should get my own exercise everyday, I should have straight A's and I should also be baking from scratch and reading all the books I've been meaning to for eons and also curing cancer or at least volunteering or something.
I'm struggling with the fact that it just doesn't work that way. I have a finite number of hours in my day and I can only push and pull so many things into them without everything suffering. That old adage- that quality trumps quantity- well, it often feels like a theory not a practice. Because, let's face it- this world demands us to do more than what's physically possible and to do it with a smile.
My classes are time consuming and laborious and have to take first priority. Being at home makes for a ton of distractions. Job hunting is a full time job in and of itself. The job hunt could take up a year's worth of blog posts on it's own. The animals are needy. Friendships take time to maintain and new friendships take time to cultivate. The older I get, the more time I want to spend with my parents. And even though J and I live together, our relationship deserves undivided attention- meaning time together when we're at least watching or working on the same thing. And all of this means that there aren't very many days that I have to get a whole bunch done at once. I'm constantly starting and stopping and starting again.
I feel like I'm never giving enough attention or focus to any one thing. The urge to do more or be better is constant and it never seems like I'm measuring up to my own expectations. For example, in the few hours since I started this post (when I should have been doing research for a class project) I have fretted over finding time to walk the dog, ran out to pick up a Birthday card, called my Dad and started three other blog posts on completely unrelated topics. Maybe I have ADHD? Or maybe I'm just mediocre at multitasking.
To make it all work, I make lists. Lots of lists on a variety of topics. I invest a little bit of time into organization so that finding something quickly saves me time in the long run. I try to unplug from the Internet at a reasonable hour every night. I blog to clear the clutter in my head. I call when I don't have the time to e-mail. When I see a completely empty day on my calendar, I rejoice. And I'm trying really hard to prioritize- to learn what's most important right now and what can wait and how to plan accordingly. And how to do the opposite- how to let things go and roll with it. It's starting to seem like a lot of getting ahead in life is learning to roll with it. My colorist had to cover up my first set of gray hairs this morning- clearly de-stressing should become high priority for me.
Sidenote- being less stressed is much easier for me, when it is a proper temperature outside, Florida! I don't live here so I can deal with 50 degree and below weather, thank you. I know many people would find the clear skies and light breezes in the 50-60 range simply beautiful but frankly, I am sick to death of winter. (Sorry, Z, and everyone else who is still under snow. I know I have no room for complaint.) But, some poolside drinks or a day at the beach would go a long way towards making me feel less frazzled.
Additionally, I have an afternoon crash every day regardless of when I eat, sleep or have caffeine. It's often accompanied by a headache and the overwhelming desire to nap. It's sort of always been this way, my brain's off time is just in the afternoon (I work best at night or first thing in the morning), but it has gotten exponentially worse in the past year or so. Today I'm battling the urge with a quick walk around the block with the dog, a large cup of coffee, and a closing of all non-essential browser windows.
I've been working all week and this post about my dog, Sam, but it's falling flat for me and I'm not ready to post it yet. I'd say it's been an interesting week but not a lot has happened. Oh, there was a major car upgrade (which deserves it's own post and some new mix CDs) and a lovely Valentine's Day, but mostly nothing game changing. Despite the lack of interesting events (or maybe because of the lack of them) I've had a bunch of internal dialogue raging around my brain.
I often feel like I'm being pulled in all directions at once and no matter how much time I have, it never seems like it's enough. You'd think that being unemployed would give me extra time to say, go to the gym or update my blog or e-mail all my friends, but it really doesn't. I feel more pressure now than ever to be productive and simultaneously take advantage of this "time off". Meaning that I feel like my house should be perfect, my dog should get the recommended two hours of exercise everyday, I should get my own exercise everyday, I should have straight A's and I should also be baking from scratch and reading all the books I've been meaning to for eons and also curing cancer or at least volunteering or something.
I'm struggling with the fact that it just doesn't work that way. I have a finite number of hours in my day and I can only push and pull so many things into them without everything suffering. That old adage- that quality trumps quantity- well, it often feels like a theory not a practice. Because, let's face it- this world demands us to do more than what's physically possible and to do it with a smile.
My classes are time consuming and laborious and have to take first priority. Being at home makes for a ton of distractions. Job hunting is a full time job in and of itself. The job hunt could take up a year's worth of blog posts on it's own. The animals are needy. Friendships take time to maintain and new friendships take time to cultivate. The older I get, the more time I want to spend with my parents. And even though J and I live together, our relationship deserves undivided attention- meaning time together when we're at least watching or working on the same thing. And all of this means that there aren't very many days that I have to get a whole bunch done at once. I'm constantly starting and stopping and starting again.
I feel like I'm never giving enough attention or focus to any one thing. The urge to do more or be better is constant and it never seems like I'm measuring up to my own expectations. For example, in the few hours since I started this post (when I should have been doing research for a class project) I have fretted over finding time to walk the dog, ran out to pick up a Birthday card, called my Dad and started three other blog posts on completely unrelated topics. Maybe I have ADHD? Or maybe I'm just mediocre at multitasking.
To make it all work, I make lists. Lots of lists on a variety of topics. I invest a little bit of time into organization so that finding something quickly saves me time in the long run. I try to unplug from the Internet at a reasonable hour every night. I blog to clear the clutter in my head. I call when I don't have the time to e-mail. When I see a completely empty day on my calendar, I rejoice. And I'm trying really hard to prioritize- to learn what's most important right now and what can wait and how to plan accordingly. And how to do the opposite- how to let things go and roll with it. It's starting to seem like a lot of getting ahead in life is learning to roll with it. My colorist had to cover up my first set of gray hairs this morning- clearly de-stressing should become high priority for me.
Sidenote- being less stressed is much easier for me, when it is a proper temperature outside, Florida! I don't live here so I can deal with 50 degree and below weather, thank you. I know many people would find the clear skies and light breezes in the 50-60 range simply beautiful but frankly, I am sick to death of winter. (Sorry, Z, and everyone else who is still under snow. I know I have no room for complaint.) But, some poolside drinks or a day at the beach would go a long way towards making me feel less frazzled.
Additionally, I have an afternoon crash every day regardless of when I eat, sleep or have caffeine. It's often accompanied by a headache and the overwhelming desire to nap. It's sort of always been this way, my brain's off time is just in the afternoon (I work best at night or first thing in the morning), but it has gotten exponentially worse in the past year or so. Today I'm battling the urge with a quick walk around the block with the dog, a large cup of coffee, and a closing of all non-essential browser windows.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
a day late, a buck short
(Green Day)
Well. I survived.
This trip was sort of full of fail, epic proportion size fail, three plus feet of snow in 12 hours fail. Don't get me wrong, it was also really great to see Z, get out of town for awhile, and just be forced to relax. I read two whole books while I was there. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" was excellent; "Girls in Trucks" was meh. I also watched movies I haven't watched in years, like Legally Blonde and Bill and Ted's Excellent Something or Other. I watched an episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" that I actually haven't seen before- a rare feat. And I came to the conclusion that I never ever ever want to move out of the South again.
The fail started before I even thought about packing. Thankfully, changing my flight around wasn't too much of a pain in the ass. USAirways was much more prepared for changes in plans for this Mid Atlantic Winter Storm than the last one. Luckily, I changed it to the earliest flight possible (7:20am) because every flight after 11:00am to DC was canceled. So, I go through security, board the plane, almost knock someone out trying to put my carry-on into the overhead bin and everything's going about as a good as it can at 7:15 in the morning. There was this little old man, about four rows ahead of me, who kept sitting in the wrong seat and had his belongings strewn about and was sweating, like, through his entire shirt nervous sweat. He was acting a little strange, but he was a little old man, and I- and most others- just assumed that he was a little senile and confused. One of the flight attendants asked him if he was a nervous flier, needed water, etc.
So. We taxi out from the gate and sit around for 10 minutes and then head right back to the gate. And sit there for 20 minutes. And then TSA gets on board and carts the little old man (and all of his stuff) off. Scary, right? So, then we taxi off again... and are brought back to the gate again. This time to sit on board for 20 minutes, then deplane with all of our carry-ons and then sit, quarantined in our gate for 45 minutes. So they could do god only knows what. By the time we re-boarded we should have already landed in DC. And by the time we re-boarded, we were all a little freaked out. Luckily, the ride to DC was uneventful and Z was waiting for me at the gate when I got there.
We drove to Luna in Dupont Circle for some brunch and the snow was just starting to come down. It was actually really wet. It's funny but I love the city like that. It's all soft light and dappled streets. And we popped into a stationary store while we were there which was amazing because I really needed thank you cards. One major area that DC excels in that Florida lacks. We pretty much survive on Hallmark here and it just doesn't stand up next to Papyrus. I love Crane & Co. stationary. The snow had barely started falling when we got back to Z's house in Virginia.
By the time we headed out to dinner a few hours later, the snow was really coming down. We went to Chinatown and ate at this dim sum dumpling place called Ping Pong. It was pretty good. Very cool atmosphere. The real treat was driving around and seeing all the monuments and landmarks in snow. A part of me will always feel at home in DC. Unfortunately, Alvin Ailey at the Kennedy Center was canceled for the rest of the week-end, so we didn't get to go. Disappointing. Though after driving around, I could totally see why.
Coming from Florida, nothing really prepares you for what three feet of snow looks like. Last year when I lived in DC, we got maybe 6 inches the whole winter. When we woke up the next morning, everything was covered in snow. It's so incredibly peaceful. But being trapped inside for 24 hours can also make you feel totally stir crazy. After hours of watching television and just generally not moving, we were all a little pent up. And yet the snow just kept falling.
Sunday was spent watching Z and her boyfriend dig his truck out of the snow. I'd say I helped, but I really didn't do that much. Once the car was out, pretzels were had, gym shorts from Lululemon were procured and chick flick watching commenced. "When in Rome". I love Kristen Bell and I'll watch her in anything. Josh Duhamel has lost some of his sparkle from his days on "All My Children" but for what it was, it wasn't bad. I also found out on Sunday that my flight (and all others had been canceled) and the earliest they could get me out was Monday night at 7:30.
Not ideal, but it ended up being good so that Z and I could actually spend some time not in the house. After we dug her car out- huge accomplishment- we tried to to go into DC for some brunch but for some unknown reason, 95% of the streets in DC hadn't been plowed. Nation's Capitol Fail. Virgina win. Seriously, driving on ice is not fun. Virgina was way more on top of the ball with this one. We went to Alexandria which is beautiful and then to the airport early, where my flight was on time. I have to give USAirways credit for handling the situation so well.
My flight was uneventful and I was very happy to come back home, especially since DC has had two more days of snow. I'm having a hard time getting back on the ball though. Any disruption in my routine leads to panic. It's luckily sunny here, though 43, so I'm going to take advantage of a day without rain and take Sam on a long walk. Our poor dog has been bored.I just want it to be warm again. I'm the only person I know who likes it when it's melt-your-face-off hot outside. I need a day at the beach and a pina colada. Stat.
Well. I survived.
This trip was sort of full of fail, epic proportion size fail, three plus feet of snow in 12 hours fail. Don't get me wrong, it was also really great to see Z, get out of town for awhile, and just be forced to relax. I read two whole books while I was there. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" was excellent; "Girls in Trucks" was meh. I also watched movies I haven't watched in years, like Legally Blonde and Bill and Ted's Excellent Something or Other. I watched an episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" that I actually haven't seen before- a rare feat. And I came to the conclusion that I never ever ever want to move out of the South again.
The fail started before I even thought about packing. Thankfully, changing my flight around wasn't too much of a pain in the ass. USAirways was much more prepared for changes in plans for this Mid Atlantic Winter Storm than the last one. Luckily, I changed it to the earliest flight possible (7:20am) because every flight after 11:00am to DC was canceled. So, I go through security, board the plane, almost knock someone out trying to put my carry-on into the overhead bin and everything's going about as a good as it can at 7:15 in the morning. There was this little old man, about four rows ahead of me, who kept sitting in the wrong seat and had his belongings strewn about and was sweating, like, through his entire shirt nervous sweat. He was acting a little strange, but he was a little old man, and I- and most others- just assumed that he was a little senile and confused. One of the flight attendants asked him if he was a nervous flier, needed water, etc.
So. We taxi out from the gate and sit around for 10 minutes and then head right back to the gate. And sit there for 20 minutes. And then TSA gets on board and carts the little old man (and all of his stuff) off. Scary, right? So, then we taxi off again... and are brought back to the gate again. This time to sit on board for 20 minutes, then deplane with all of our carry-ons and then sit, quarantined in our gate for 45 minutes. So they could do god only knows what. By the time we re-boarded we should have already landed in DC. And by the time we re-boarded, we were all a little freaked out. Luckily, the ride to DC was uneventful and Z was waiting for me at the gate when I got there.
We drove to Luna in Dupont Circle for some brunch and the snow was just starting to come down. It was actually really wet. It's funny but I love the city like that. It's all soft light and dappled streets. And we popped into a stationary store while we were there which was amazing because I really needed thank you cards. One major area that DC excels in that Florida lacks. We pretty much survive on Hallmark here and it just doesn't stand up next to Papyrus. I love Crane & Co. stationary. The snow had barely started falling when we got back to Z's house in Virginia.
By the time we headed out to dinner a few hours later, the snow was really coming down. We went to Chinatown and ate at this dim sum dumpling place called Ping Pong. It was pretty good. Very cool atmosphere. The real treat was driving around and seeing all the monuments and landmarks in snow. A part of me will always feel at home in DC. Unfortunately, Alvin Ailey at the Kennedy Center was canceled for the rest of the week-end, so we didn't get to go. Disappointing. Though after driving around, I could totally see why.
Coming from Florida, nothing really prepares you for what three feet of snow looks like. Last year when I lived in DC, we got maybe 6 inches the whole winter. When we woke up the next morning, everything was covered in snow. It's so incredibly peaceful. But being trapped inside for 24 hours can also make you feel totally stir crazy. After hours of watching television and just generally not moving, we were all a little pent up. And yet the snow just kept falling.
Sunday was spent watching Z and her boyfriend dig his truck out of the snow. I'd say I helped, but I really didn't do that much. Once the car was out, pretzels were had, gym shorts from Lululemon were procured and chick flick watching commenced. "When in Rome". I love Kristen Bell and I'll watch her in anything. Josh Duhamel has lost some of his sparkle from his days on "All My Children" but for what it was, it wasn't bad. I also found out on Sunday that my flight (and all others had been canceled) and the earliest they could get me out was Monday night at 7:30.
Not ideal, but it ended up being good so that Z and I could actually spend some time not in the house. After we dug her car out- huge accomplishment- we tried to to go into DC for some brunch but for some unknown reason, 95% of the streets in DC hadn't been plowed. Nation's Capitol Fail. Virgina win. Seriously, driving on ice is not fun. Virgina was way more on top of the ball with this one. We went to Alexandria which is beautiful and then to the airport early, where my flight was on time. I have to give USAirways credit for handling the situation so well.
My flight was uneventful and I was very happy to come back home, especially since DC has had two more days of snow. I'm having a hard time getting back on the ball though. Any disruption in my routine leads to panic. It's luckily sunny here, though 43, so I'm going to take advantage of a day without rain and take Sam on a long walk. Our poor dog has been bored.I just want it to be warm again. I'm the only person I know who likes it when it's melt-your-face-off hot outside. I need a day at the beach and a pina colada. Stat.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
In inches, in miles, in laughter and strife.
(Seasons of Love- Rent)
So, I'm flying to DC tomorrow to visit my best friend, Z. We're going to go see the Alvin Ailey Dance theatre at the Kennedy Center. Exciting on several levels. Partially because of the amazingness that is Alvin Ailey and partially because we're going to the Kennedy Center which is something that I just didn't get the time to do while I lived in DC last year. Also, Z just turned 26 and it's the first time in 6 years that we've missed one of each other's Birthdays. So, we'll be celebrating that with a chick flick ("When in Rome", I love Kristen Bell) and quite possibly a pedicure that I will subsequently destroy by wearing boots. (One time we got pedicures in freakishly cold weather and they wrapped our toes in saran wrap to keep them from messing up. Totally didn't work. At all. Mildly amusing anecdote though.) Also, eating at a restaurant in Chinatown that only serves dumplings. And, I fully intend on sleeping in for at least one morning. Not having to get up with the pup will be a total treat.
Z called me this morning to inform me that I should probably change my flight because there was a freakish, city-shutting-down snowstorm hitting the area and I probably didn't want to spend hours in the airport. After the terrible snowstorm that hit the DC area in mid-December and the subsequent freakish travel delays, I guess USAirways decided to do the decent thing and let anyone who was flying into affected areas change their tickets without any fees. Awesome. Originally my flight was supposed to get there right as the storm was just setting in- 6:00 pm. My new flight lands at 9:45 am, which should be well before any major snowfall. Unfortunately, that means it leaves at 7:20, which means I have to be at the airport between 5:30 and 6:00. In the morning.
J and I, we aren't what you'd ever mistake for morning people. I'm fine if I've had 8 hours, but J is a total grump if he's roused before 10 am. My alarm clock for tomorrow is set for 4:00. A. M. I'm planning on having a massive coffee, crying on the phone to my Dad (who calms me down before a flight better than anyone), and reading several books.
Words can't really express how terrifying flying is to me. It's strange because it's a fear that gets worse the more I fly, as opposed to less. So, it's really especially terrifying when I'm flying into an area that's about to have 16-24 inches of snow dumped on it and "near-blizzard like conditions" (Thank you weather.com). It used to not bother me so badly, but as time goes on, it's gotten worse and worse. It's partially having no control over the situation and partially just being older and more attached. I can't imagine J or I having to live a lifetime without the other person. I actually write notes to my parents and J and leave them in my jewelery box before I leave. I'm morbid, I know, but I feel mildly better about plummeting from the heavens if everyone knows how much I love them.
So, instead of talking about that and working myself into a tizzy before bed, I'm going to focus on the fact that I have to wake up at 4 am and it's 11:15 and I still haven't packed. It's been a year since I was in snowy weather and I've forgotten what's essential and what's not and where all of it is stored. Like... mittens. Probably going to need those. Also, scarves, boots, tights, etc. I'll probably end up forgetting something obvious, like a coat.
Coming back has also turned into a bit of a clusterfuck. (I warned you about the sailor's mouth.) J was supposed to have superbowl sunday off but the girl he works with that was taking his shift just bailed on him. Tonight. Which means he has to work until 7 or 8. My flight lands at 5:15. (Incidentally, long after the snowstorm in DC *should* be over.) Trying to find someone sober to pick me up from the airport 2 1/2 hours before the superbowl started was a challenge. I hate asking people for help, especially if they aren't someone I've been friends with for more than five years and have bailed out of similarly sticky, last minute, totally inconvenient situations. Luckily, we had plans to go watch the game at J's best friend's house and his girlfriend (who I'm slowly but surely becoming friends with) offered to pick me up.
I'm hoping that all the stress of getting plans to work out today means that this week-end will be totally smooth sailing. I'll take some pictures of the snow, which is totally peaceful as long as you're not *in* it, and get more than my fill of the cold for the whole year, spend some much needed quality time with my best friend, and then come back and probably pass out during half-time.
Which is sort of what I want to do right now.
So, I'm flying to DC tomorrow to visit my best friend, Z. We're going to go see the Alvin Ailey Dance theatre at the Kennedy Center. Exciting on several levels. Partially because of the amazingness that is Alvin Ailey and partially because we're going to the Kennedy Center which is something that I just didn't get the time to do while I lived in DC last year. Also, Z just turned 26 and it's the first time in 6 years that we've missed one of each other's Birthdays. So, we'll be celebrating that with a chick flick ("When in Rome", I love Kristen Bell) and quite possibly a pedicure that I will subsequently destroy by wearing boots. (One time we got pedicures in freakishly cold weather and they wrapped our toes in saran wrap to keep them from messing up. Totally didn't work. At all. Mildly amusing anecdote though.) Also, eating at a restaurant in Chinatown that only serves dumplings. And, I fully intend on sleeping in for at least one morning. Not having to get up with the pup will be a total treat.
Z called me this morning to inform me that I should probably change my flight because there was a freakish, city-shutting-down snowstorm hitting the area and I probably didn't want to spend hours in the airport. After the terrible snowstorm that hit the DC area in mid-December and the subsequent freakish travel delays, I guess USAirways decided to do the decent thing and let anyone who was flying into affected areas change their tickets without any fees. Awesome. Originally my flight was supposed to get there right as the storm was just setting in- 6:00 pm. My new flight lands at 9:45 am, which should be well before any major snowfall. Unfortunately, that means it leaves at 7:20, which means I have to be at the airport between 5:30 and 6:00. In the morning.
J and I, we aren't what you'd ever mistake for morning people. I'm fine if I've had 8 hours, but J is a total grump if he's roused before 10 am. My alarm clock for tomorrow is set for 4:00. A. M. I'm planning on having a massive coffee, crying on the phone to my Dad (who calms me down before a flight better than anyone), and reading several books.
Words can't really express how terrifying flying is to me. It's strange because it's a fear that gets worse the more I fly, as opposed to less. So, it's really especially terrifying when I'm flying into an area that's about to have 16-24 inches of snow dumped on it and "near-blizzard like conditions" (Thank you weather.com). It used to not bother me so badly, but as time goes on, it's gotten worse and worse. It's partially having no control over the situation and partially just being older and more attached. I can't imagine J or I having to live a lifetime without the other person. I actually write notes to my parents and J and leave them in my jewelery box before I leave. I'm morbid, I know, but I feel mildly better about plummeting from the heavens if everyone knows how much I love them.
So, instead of talking about that and working myself into a tizzy before bed, I'm going to focus on the fact that I have to wake up at 4 am and it's 11:15 and I still haven't packed. It's been a year since I was in snowy weather and I've forgotten what's essential and what's not and where all of it is stored. Like... mittens. Probably going to need those. Also, scarves, boots, tights, etc. I'll probably end up forgetting something obvious, like a coat.
Coming back has also turned into a bit of a clusterfuck. (I warned you about the sailor's mouth.) J was supposed to have superbowl sunday off but the girl he works with that was taking his shift just bailed on him. Tonight. Which means he has to work until 7 or 8. My flight lands at 5:15. (Incidentally, long after the snowstorm in DC *should* be over.) Trying to find someone sober to pick me up from the airport 2 1/2 hours before the superbowl started was a challenge. I hate asking people for help, especially if they aren't someone I've been friends with for more than five years and have bailed out of similarly sticky, last minute, totally inconvenient situations. Luckily, we had plans to go watch the game at J's best friend's house and his girlfriend (who I'm slowly but surely becoming friends with) offered to pick me up.
I'm hoping that all the stress of getting plans to work out today means that this week-end will be totally smooth sailing. I'll take some pictures of the snow, which is totally peaceful as long as you're not *in* it, and get more than my fill of the cold for the whole year, spend some much needed quality time with my best friend, and then come back and probably pass out during half-time.
Which is sort of what I want to do right now.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
To begin with? Everything.
Well clearly I haven't been satisfied with the direction that this little blog has been going in quite awhile. I still love music as much as ever. But I'm finding that I'm using someone else's words to try to express my own feelings and it's simply not working for me. I really enjoy writing and I like having a forum where I can talk about my life or things that are important to me but wherever I've written, I've always encountered the problem of feeling like I'm saying too much or too little. I'm a pretty open person in general, but I would like some degree of privacy. Thus, I always end up erring on the side of too little and feeling like I'm never really saying what I'm thinking.
So. Number one goal of this new venture: actually talking about me. Honestly. To a point.
Another big problem I have, obviously, is in maintaining the blog itself. I may update 15 times in two days and then you won't hear from me again for 6 months. I'd like to meet somewhere in the middle on that. I get overwhelmed easily and if I start adding blogging to my to do list, it'll simply become another chore for me. And this blog is not about that. I want it to be unforced... but at the same time, I obviously need to push myself a little bit and write when I want to, regardless of what it's about.
Goal number two: update on a more regular basis.
About whatever I want. Which means... Goal number three: I will cease caring if what I write about is of interest to anyone else.
I mean, I hope it is. I don't expect everyone to be interested in everything I have to say, but it would be nice if I could reap some of the benefits of having a blog and actually have some regular readers or commenters or maybe even meet some new fascinating (or completely ordinary) people. You know, whatev, I'll take what I can get right now.
So. Things you may or may not see featured on the blog in the coming months... Yes, music that I'm loving, but also... my thoughts on cohabitation with your boyfriend (now that we're 7 months in), things I have googled since we got a dog, what I'm reading, adventures in making new friends at the age of 26, my struggles with attempting to find a job in a specialized field in our crappy economy, possibly my political affiliations (and I am trying to psych myself up for pissing off a lot of people in my life), stuff about my 2nd (yup) grad program including but not limited to a recount of homework I may or may not have spent 6+ hours completing, what I ate for breakfast/ brunch/ lunch or dinner (the boyfriend is a chef), workout plans that will most likely be abandoned within a week, and the ever impending doom of my ticking biological clock. I'm going to try really hard not to simply recap my days, but you know what? That might happen to.
And if you're new here and you need to know some basics about me before we start... I guess now is the time to fill you in. I turn 26 in March and right now I'm an unemployed graduate student getting my degree in Library Science and Information Technology. I love my program (i am also the owner of a Master's in Nonprofit Management which I loathed) but I'm fighting an uphill battle trying to find a job in this economy. I live with my boyfriend- he's a chef, he likes comic books and video games, and he's Cuban. We have a dog, Sam, a mutt mix we rescued from a shelter three months ago and a cat, Joe. We live in Florida, which is where I was born and have spent the majority of my time on this earth. Last year, I had an internship at a museum in Washington, DC (that I totally loved). I love DC but I hate cold weather. My best friend still lives there. I am all of the following: a sorority girl, an ardent reader, a wannabe hippie, totally liberal, southern raised, foul mouthed, and a bleeding heart. I'm an only child and I'm super close to my parents. My friends are my extended family and there's not a lot I wouldn't do for *most* of them. I totally adore my boyfriend even when he drives me crazy and I love his gigantic family. I also have a pretty much daily battle with anxiety and if you didn't or hadn't lived with me, you probably wouldn't know. I can be super sweet or a total bitch, like most people, but I'm mellowing out in my old age. Or at least I like to think I am.
So. Number one goal of this new venture: actually talking about me. Honestly. To a point.
Another big problem I have, obviously, is in maintaining the blog itself. I may update 15 times in two days and then you won't hear from me again for 6 months. I'd like to meet somewhere in the middle on that. I get overwhelmed easily and if I start adding blogging to my to do list, it'll simply become another chore for me. And this blog is not about that. I want it to be unforced... but at the same time, I obviously need to push myself a little bit and write when I want to, regardless of what it's about.
Goal number two: update on a more regular basis.
About whatever I want. Which means... Goal number three: I will cease caring if what I write about is of interest to anyone else.
I mean, I hope it is. I don't expect everyone to be interested in everything I have to say, but it would be nice if I could reap some of the benefits of having a blog and actually have some regular readers or commenters or maybe even meet some new fascinating (or completely ordinary) people. You know, whatev, I'll take what I can get right now.
So. Things you may or may not see featured on the blog in the coming months... Yes, music that I'm loving, but also... my thoughts on cohabitation with your boyfriend (now that we're 7 months in), things I have googled since we got a dog, what I'm reading, adventures in making new friends at the age of 26, my struggles with attempting to find a job in a specialized field in our crappy economy, possibly my political affiliations (and I am trying to psych myself up for pissing off a lot of people in my life), stuff about my 2nd (yup) grad program including but not limited to a recount of homework I may or may not have spent 6+ hours completing, what I ate for breakfast/ brunch/ lunch or dinner (the boyfriend is a chef), workout plans that will most likely be abandoned within a week, and the ever impending doom of my ticking biological clock. I'm going to try really hard not to simply recap my days, but you know what? That might happen to.
And if you're new here and you need to know some basics about me before we start... I guess now is the time to fill you in. I turn 26 in March and right now I'm an unemployed graduate student getting my degree in Library Science and Information Technology. I love my program (i am also the owner of a Master's in Nonprofit Management which I loathed) but I'm fighting an uphill battle trying to find a job in this economy. I live with my boyfriend- he's a chef, he likes comic books and video games, and he's Cuban. We have a dog, Sam, a mutt mix we rescued from a shelter three months ago and a cat, Joe. We live in Florida, which is where I was born and have spent the majority of my time on this earth. Last year, I had an internship at a museum in Washington, DC (that I totally loved). I love DC but I hate cold weather. My best friend still lives there. I am all of the following: a sorority girl, an ardent reader, a wannabe hippie, totally liberal, southern raised, foul mouthed, and a bleeding heart. I'm an only child and I'm super close to my parents. My friends are my extended family and there's not a lot I wouldn't do for *most* of them. I totally adore my boyfriend even when he drives me crazy and I love his gigantic family. I also have a pretty much daily battle with anxiety and if you didn't or hadn't lived with me, you probably wouldn't know. I can be super sweet or a total bitch, like most people, but I'm mellowing out in my old age. Or at least I like to think I am.
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