(Tears for Fears)
I never thought I would be the kind of bride to totally fall in love with one wedding gown. Like, have to try it on, can't find anything else I like as much, won't buy anything until I've tried on this one gown. And yet, here we are. I had the good fortune of falling head over heels for something in my price range, at least. But, tracking down this dress has been the biggest wedding planning hurdle so far.
So. Here's the designer: Alyne Bridal, a division of Rivini The dress is the "Alice" dress. It's A-Line, corseted, with a ruffled satin skirt and the most perfect off the shoulder sleeves. Also, it's true antique ivory- almost cream. So beautiful. It's the first dress that I saw and gasped. And everyone I show it to says the exact same thing- it just looks like me.
Unfortunately, it's a new line and there are very few stores in the entire country that sell it. My search began with the only store in Florida listed- a place in Coral Gables. The woman who answered had no idea what I was talking about, even though the store is listed on Alyne's website and the line is featured on the store's own blog. I called again a few weeks after the first attempt and still- they have no idea what I'm talking about. Awesome.
Two places in Georgia carry the line. One in Augusta and one in Atlanta. The one in Augusta doesn't carry the Alice dress, of course. Unfortunately, the one in Atlanta is the biggest bridal salon in the country and the subject of TLC's newest show "Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta". Meaning that it's not exactly easy to get a quick appointment. And, no, they don't carry the dress either- although they can order it for me to try on- I just have to put down a 10% deposit on the dress. Fun. We have the budget to to do it, but what if I put the dress on and don't love it?
The next nearest salon that carries this line? Is in New Orleans.
I have made literally 25 phone calls regarding trying to find this dress- and J has called several places too. I finally made an October appointment with the place in Atlanta. But at this point, I'm thinking that it's going to be a back up. Because I have three appointments here in Orlando with my Mom, two with Z, and several more with J's sister. And because it just sort of feels like the universe is trying to tell me something. Like, I just need to make my peace with not being able to get this dress. I should try on other dresses with an open heart and an open mind and if I find something that I love, I should go ahead and get that. Of course, on the chance that I don't, I have an appointment with destiny sometime in October.
Update: I told J about my dilemma and he says, "So, we'll put the deposit down on the dress and go to Atlanta. I just want you to have the dress that you want." Whatever dress I wear, I know that I'm walking down the aisle towards the right person.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
oh, gotta see, gotta know right now...
What's that riding on your everything?
It isn't anything at all.
...
Early, early in the morning
it pulls
on all down on my sore feet
I wanna go back to sleep.
(Modest Mouse)
I'm postponing confessions for a week. I wrote them feeling lighthearted which is how I have decidedly not felt the past few days. There have been bright spots, to be sure, an hour long phone date with Z that was so needed and appreciated and made me feel a billion times better about, like, everything but especially wedding planning and oh, yeah, I got a job (highly coveted- by me anyway- research assistantship with two professors in my college- and only 20 hours a week, so still room for other developments)... and also I spent a nearly perfectly lovely day with J yesterday, who got an in-kitchen promotion from omelette king to the grill... which means being at work at 8:00 instead of 6:00 which is awesome in every possible way... and honestly, life in general is so good. I can't complain and I'm not ungrateful.
It's just that I feel sad. The news from Sunday has made me feel heavy and contemplative. It's difficult not to take a long, hard look at your own life when you hear of someone so young passing. The fact of the matter is that we're all here temporarily and to function day to day, you really have to ignore that. Being forced to face it... is downright terrifying, to begin with. And also, it makes you wonder if you're living your life the way you really want to be. I can honestly say that for the most part, I am. Wholeheartedly. I don't usually hold grudges, I try not to burn too many bridges- or to at least make a concerted effort to repair them, and I am learning to let go of things I can't control. I adore my fiancee, I avoid dieting, I talk to my parents just about everyday. I tell my friends that I love them, I went back to school to pursue a career I really enjoy, and I take more than my fair share of mental health days. I try to embrace it and appreciate it... all these fleeting moments.
And yet. I can't seem to snap out of this funk. And I hate that. I hate that I'm here, breathing, and with a thousand and one reasons to be happy and I feel sad for days for someone that I didn't even know. Because it just seems sometimes like it's futile. And it seems like no matter what my intentions are, there are a hundred things I could be doing better. And it sucks when every single song on my iPod makes me want to cry and each one for a totally different reason.
Because I don't really regret much in my life. I don't regret a lot of my actions and I don't regret the heartache and the skinned knees. I am sorry for hurting other people, intentionally or not. I am sorry for the way I went about doing things. I am sorry, sometimes, for not saying what I was thinking. Mostly, I am sorry for things that I would not take back. Because I am happy. And I like who I am. And I feel like I am much stronger than I ever thought. And everything I've done, every person I've loved, it's brought me right here to this.
But true regret... not a whole lot. I regret selling my Jetta, because god I still miss that car and what it meant to me and my Dad. I regret not going to Winnie's wedding, because I was going through my own inner turmoil bullshit. And I regret the way things ended with us. Not because I regret them ending. But because I let my pain and anger dictate the way I behaved afterwards. And it wasn't very good of me. And I'm not very proud of it. And I want to tell you that I'm sorry. But I'm too scared.
And I guess that I am just going to have to live with that. And isn't that the hardest thing of all? Learning to accept and live with the things you can't change? Grace. Number three in the trifecta of things I can't seem to get a good grasp on... Patience, faith and grace. Maybe it'll come with time.
It isn't anything at all.
...
Early, early in the morning
it pulls
on all down on my sore feet
I wanna go back to sleep.
(Modest Mouse)
I'm postponing confessions for a week. I wrote them feeling lighthearted which is how I have decidedly not felt the past few days. There have been bright spots, to be sure, an hour long phone date with Z that was so needed and appreciated and made me feel a billion times better about, like, everything but especially wedding planning and oh, yeah, I got a job (highly coveted- by me anyway- research assistantship with two professors in my college- and only 20 hours a week, so still room for other developments)... and also I spent a nearly perfectly lovely day with J yesterday, who got an in-kitchen promotion from omelette king to the grill... which means being at work at 8:00 instead of 6:00 which is awesome in every possible way... and honestly, life in general is so good. I can't complain and I'm not ungrateful.
It's just that I feel sad. The news from Sunday has made me feel heavy and contemplative. It's difficult not to take a long, hard look at your own life when you hear of someone so young passing. The fact of the matter is that we're all here temporarily and to function day to day, you really have to ignore that. Being forced to face it... is downright terrifying, to begin with. And also, it makes you wonder if you're living your life the way you really want to be. I can honestly say that for the most part, I am. Wholeheartedly. I don't usually hold grudges, I try not to burn too many bridges- or to at least make a concerted effort to repair them, and I am learning to let go of things I can't control. I adore my fiancee, I avoid dieting, I talk to my parents just about everyday. I tell my friends that I love them, I went back to school to pursue a career I really enjoy, and I take more than my fair share of mental health days. I try to embrace it and appreciate it... all these fleeting moments.
And yet. I can't seem to snap out of this funk. And I hate that. I hate that I'm here, breathing, and with a thousand and one reasons to be happy and I feel sad for days for someone that I didn't even know. Because it just seems sometimes like it's futile. And it seems like no matter what my intentions are, there are a hundred things I could be doing better. And it sucks when every single song on my iPod makes me want to cry and each one for a totally different reason.
Because I don't really regret much in my life. I don't regret a lot of my actions and I don't regret the heartache and the skinned knees. I am sorry for hurting other people, intentionally or not. I am sorry for the way I went about doing things. I am sorry, sometimes, for not saying what I was thinking. Mostly, I am sorry for things that I would not take back. Because I am happy. And I like who I am. And I feel like I am much stronger than I ever thought. And everything I've done, every person I've loved, it's brought me right here to this.
But true regret... not a whole lot. I regret selling my Jetta, because god I still miss that car and what it meant to me and my Dad. I regret not going to Winnie's wedding, because I was going through my own inner turmoil bullshit. And I regret the way things ended with us. Not because I regret them ending. But because I let my pain and anger dictate the way I behaved afterwards. And it wasn't very good of me. And I'm not very proud of it. And I want to tell you that I'm sorry. But I'm too scared.
And I guess that I am just going to have to live with that. And isn't that the hardest thing of all? Learning to accept and live with the things you can't change? Grace. Number three in the trifecta of things I can't seem to get a good grasp on... Patience, faith and grace. Maybe it'll come with time.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
For a thousand days, we could get carried away
(Deftones)
Was going to post this yesterday for Monday mix tape, but it felt like poor timing. So a day late, a buck short, you know. It's how I roll. Currently in my CD player's rotation (Yes, I have more up to date technology, but there's nothing like being forced to listen to an album from start to finish. iPods feed into my self-induced ADD):
- The Cure, Greatest Hits. I got a random urge to listen to this the other day and it stuck. The Cure is so infectious... it's so much fun and so light and exactly the kind of thing you don't mind getting stuck in your head for hours.
- Fight from Above, L.A. Kids. This whole album is just fun. It's light, it's got great lyrics, and it's the best to sing along to.
- City and Colour, Bring Me Your Love. Dallas Green has the most amazing voice I've heard in a long time. This album is understated but I definitely wouldn't call it simple. A few years ago, I feel in love with Greg Laswell's first album and I love this one for all the same reasons- it's an artist that really knows themselves and their vision and they stick to that and let it shine. It's smooth and polished, but definitely not overproduced. This is probably the album that I would feel comfortable recommending to the most of my friends.
- Deftones, Diamond Eyes. I've already gone on and on about this one, but it's worth mentioning again- if for no other reason than it keeps continuing to amaze and impress me. I fall in love with one song and as soon as I start to get it out of my head, I fall in love with another one. My favorites on the albums so far? "Sextape", "Diamond Eyes", "Risk" and "976-EVIL".
- The XX, Self-Titled. The best album for summer. It's lush and sensual, totally peaceful. If I was in high school, this would be my go to make-out album, for sure. As it is, it's perfect for cruising around with the windows down. It blends well with the summer heat.
Was going to post this yesterday for Monday mix tape, but it felt like poor timing. So a day late, a buck short, you know. It's how I roll. Currently in my CD player's rotation (Yes, I have more up to date technology, but there's nothing like being forced to listen to an album from start to finish. iPods feed into my self-induced ADD):
- The Cure, Greatest Hits. I got a random urge to listen to this the other day and it stuck. The Cure is so infectious... it's so much fun and so light and exactly the kind of thing you don't mind getting stuck in your head for hours.
- Fight from Above, L.A. Kids. This whole album is just fun. It's light, it's got great lyrics, and it's the best to sing along to.
- City and Colour, Bring Me Your Love. Dallas Green has the most amazing voice I've heard in a long time. This album is understated but I definitely wouldn't call it simple. A few years ago, I feel in love with Greg Laswell's first album and I love this one for all the same reasons- it's an artist that really knows themselves and their vision and they stick to that and let it shine. It's smooth and polished, but definitely not overproduced. This is probably the album that I would feel comfortable recommending to the most of my friends.
- Deftones, Diamond Eyes. I've already gone on and on about this one, but it's worth mentioning again- if for no other reason than it keeps continuing to amaze and impress me. I fall in love with one song and as soon as I start to get it out of my head, I fall in love with another one. My favorites on the albums so far? "Sextape", "Diamond Eyes", "Risk" and "976-EVIL".
- The XX, Self-Titled. The best album for summer. It's lush and sensual, totally peaceful. If I was in high school, this would be my go to make-out album, for sure. As it is, it's perfect for cruising around with the windows down. It blends well with the summer heat.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Now I feel the wind blow outside my door
(Lynyrd Skynyrd)
My Mom called me yesterday morning pretty hysterical. She's a preschool teacher- has been for over ten years- at the same place. One of the other teachers, Renee, I've known since I was fifteen. She's a really wonderful person. The kind of person that makes you smile whenever she answers the phone. The first time I called the preschool after I got engaged, she picked up and just squealed- she was so genuinely happy for me. Renee has two sons. The oldest one, Anthony, just finished his freshman year of college. He was out skateboarding Saturday night and got hit by a car and died. It's the type of thing that you hear and it makes you sick to your stomach for that person's family- even if you've never met them or heard of them. But to know Renee and her family, and to know how amazing they are, it's just some kind of terrible. I've felt sad, just really unshakingly sad, for the past two days and I feel guilty for being sad because I feel like I have no right to mourn for someone I didn't really know. I just can't help but feel shaken. Your whole life can change in the blink of an eye... and yet the world keeps on turning.
My Mom called me yesterday morning pretty hysterical. She's a preschool teacher- has been for over ten years- at the same place. One of the other teachers, Renee, I've known since I was fifteen. She's a really wonderful person. The kind of person that makes you smile whenever she answers the phone. The first time I called the preschool after I got engaged, she picked up and just squealed- she was so genuinely happy for me. Renee has two sons. The oldest one, Anthony, just finished his freshman year of college. He was out skateboarding Saturday night and got hit by a car and died. It's the type of thing that you hear and it makes you sick to your stomach for that person's family- even if you've never met them or heard of them. But to know Renee and her family, and to know how amazing they are, it's just some kind of terrible. I've felt sad, just really unshakingly sad, for the past two days and I feel guilty for being sad because I feel like I have no right to mourn for someone I didn't really know. I just can't help but feel shaken. Your whole life can change in the blink of an eye... and yet the world keeps on turning.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I don't even know your real name.
Almost Famous was on TV the other day. I own the movie, but whenever it's on TV I watch it too. Does anyone else do that? It's absolutely one of my favorites, which you've probably figured out by now. I think part of what I loved about "Almost Famous" the first time was how it totally captured this idealized world of the 1970's. I mean, the music in "Almost Famous". Jesus. So good. But, also the movie is really hopeful and the entire cast really grows and develops through the whole thing... and it's really funny. Like, really funny. I think most of all though, the movie is really easy to relate to. The entire cast does a great job of relaying their emotions without actually having to say anything.
The casting is also perfect. Kate Hudson, probably at her peak, is perfect as Penny Lane. She's got that whole manic pixie dream girl thing down. Jason Lee. "I don't love you man- I never did." (I wish he had never done Alvin and the Chipmunks because I really loved him before that.) Billy Crudup. Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs. "I'm always home, I'm uncool." Pitch perfect and total comic relief. AND Zooey Deschanel. Plus, Anna Paquin and Fairuza Balk as band-aids... and of course, Patrick Fugit. Sigh. He didn't stand a chance next to Billy Crudup, I mean, really.
And the hair! And the clothes! And the sexual tension! And the drugs. And did I mention the music?
The casting is also perfect. Kate Hudson, probably at her peak, is perfect as Penny Lane. She's got that whole manic pixie dream girl thing down. Jason Lee. "I don't love you man- I never did." (I wish he had never done Alvin and the Chipmunks because I really loved him before that.) Billy Crudup. Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs. "I'm always home, I'm uncool." Pitch perfect and total comic relief. AND Zooey Deschanel. Plus, Anna Paquin and Fairuza Balk as band-aids... and of course, Patrick Fugit. Sigh. He didn't stand a chance next to Billy Crudup, I mean, really.
And the hair! And the clothes! And the sexual tension! And the drugs. And did I mention the music?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
spitting game and turning tricks
(Fight From Above)
I've been fairly collected with the whole wedding planning thing to this point. The venue is perfect and booked, there is a back up plan in case of rain, I feel fairly confident with the details and ideas we have going right now, and strategically and with timing, I truly believe we can pull all this off and that it will be beautiful and that even if there are snags, I will be so thrilled to be getting married to J that I will not care. And also, it has been evidenced that our families and friends love us so much that the rough edges will all get smoothed out and details taken care of somehow. I truly believe this, so do not burst my bubble.
That being said. I don't expect anything to be flawless or a breeze or without hiccups. Right now, I am having a major dilemma and while I e-mailed M to help me deal with it (partially because she is doing our stationary, god love her, and partially because I think I have sent my mother too many wedding related e-mails this week) I thought I would open the discussion up for debate. Someone show me some color. By the way, yes, I am totally aware that this is a first world problem. Meaning, of course, that if this is the worst of my worries, I should count myself lucky. And for the record, I totally do.
Update: Nevermind. I'm pretty sure we just decided to go with yellow and grey with pops of red.
My first shared bridal panic attack:
Yo.
So I am having a debate with myself over whether or not I want yellow and brown or yellow and gray. I have not discussed this with J yet, but I am assuming (perhaps falsely) that he will be ok with either. I'm just not seeing a lot of yellow/brown combos that I love, but my mental picture of yellow and brown, I do like. Also, I am a little worried that yellow and gray is too cold. I want warm colors. But but but- I keep picturing myself with a bouquet in red... which would look lovely with yellow and gray but not so much with yellow and brown. BUT then I saw this stationary: http://www.oncewed.com/525/real-weddings/whimsical/yellow/patrick-erica/ Which is quite pretty color wise, though not exactly what I want and I'm just wondering- what do you think?
I've been fairly collected with the whole wedding planning thing to this point. The venue is perfect and booked, there is a back up plan in case of rain, I feel fairly confident with the details and ideas we have going right now, and strategically and with timing, I truly believe we can pull all this off and that it will be beautiful and that even if there are snags, I will be so thrilled to be getting married to J that I will not care. And also, it has been evidenced that our families and friends love us so much that the rough edges will all get smoothed out and details taken care of somehow. I truly believe this, so do not burst my bubble.
That being said. I don't expect anything to be flawless or a breeze or without hiccups. Right now, I am having a major dilemma and while I e-mailed M to help me deal with it (partially because she is doing our stationary, god love her, and partially because I think I have sent my mother too many wedding related e-mails this week) I thought I would open the discussion up for debate. Someone show me some color. By the way, yes, I am totally aware that this is a first world problem. Meaning, of course, that if this is the worst of my worries, I should count myself lucky. And for the record, I totally do.
Update: Nevermind. I'm pretty sure we just decided to go with yellow and grey with pops of red.
My first shared bridal panic attack:
Yo.
So I am having a debate with myself over whether or not I want yellow and brown or yellow and gray. I have not discussed this with J yet, but I am assuming (perhaps falsely) that he will be ok with either. I'm just not seeing a lot of yellow/brown combos that I love, but my mental picture of yellow and brown, I do like. Also, I am a little worried that yellow and gray is too cold. I want warm colors. But but but- I keep picturing myself with a bouquet in red... which would look lovely with yellow and gray but not so much with yellow and brown. BUT then I saw this stationary: http://www.oncewed.com/525/real-weddings/whimsical/yellow/patrick-erica/ Which is quite pretty color wise, though not exactly what I want and I'm just wondering- what do you think?
Love,
Me
Friday, July 23, 2010
I will try not to sing out of key.
(Joe Cocker cover of The Beatles' original)
Choosing and asking my wedding party has been one of my favorite parts of getting engaged. Z and I had long ago decided that we would serve as each other's Maids of Honor and I pretty much knew who else I was going to ask before I even got engaged- but coming up with a way to do it was a challenge. Online, I saw examples of people who used poems, t-shirts, or bridesmaid guides but none of those things really felt like me.
I stumbled across these cards on Etsy and knew they were perfect:
I felt like bridesmaid guides or tees was a little too pushy for me, so I rounded up a collection of movies that are all about weddings or at least have bride in the title. Harder than it seems, trust me. I figured that my friends are making such a huge time and financial commitment that I needed something lighthearted and fun to say a preemptive thank you.
Luckily, everyone I asked said yes! There were lots of hugs, a few tears (Olive), and lots of wedding plans made. And I'm really thrilled and honored- I feel very loved. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful and genuinely happy for me... It's been the best experience I could ask for. Z, Teddi, M, Olive, and Sara: I can't wait to step forward into this new chapter of my life and I can't imagine doing it without any of you. It means so much to me that you'll be by my side on my wedding day. Thank you for helping me plan, giving me ideas, creating the stationary, taking our engagement photos, keeping people out of my hair, planning my bridal shower and just generally being some of the best friends I could ever imagine having. And especially thank you to my best friend, Z, who is flying across the country to help me plan next month- in the middle of planning her own wedding. You're the best.
In return, I solemnly swear to do my damndest to find bridesmaid dresses that aren't shiny, won't cost you your firstborn, and that you might possibly even wear again.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
love is all you need
(The Beatles)
Oh, New York. It was a glorious week-end. The flight there was a little rocky, but I have to hand it to Jetblue. They make it hard to want to fly any other airline. I checked my bag for free, I got my own TV on the plane- which distracted me from the two ladies I was sitting next to who were direct off the set of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and I got free snacks and drinks. And, bonus, the flight attendants were actually really nice. I stepped off the plane into an oppressively hot and sunny NYC. And someone promptly sneezed on me. Still, it seemed like New York was trying so hard at this summer thing and since the last time I saw her I was freezing my tootsies off, I managed to be totally charmed.
I got a cab and went straight to Teddi's apartment. Seeing her was a total delight. We gabbed for a bit and then I handed her this:
So glad that she said yes! We grabbed drinks at Vero (which, incidentally, is the name of my home town). I had the most glorious mojito ever. Seriously, I love them and I don't know why I have to go to the Northeast to get one. I have yet to have a properly made one in Orlando though. Locals, enlighten me if you know where I can go to get one. After, we headed to dinner at Otto.
Can I just say how much I freakin' adore Mario Batali? I forgive him his orange crocs. J took me to Babbo for my twenty-fifth Birthday and it was the best meal of my entire life. Otto was not quite as good, but it was still pretty delicious.
After a few stops (I needed a wedding planner) we called it an early night. Saturday was busy busy. We started the day at Alice's Teacup. I've been dying to go there forever. It was a little slow, but really good.
Then, we headed to Bloomingdale's and the Bumble and Bumble bar. Teddi and I are both diehard B&B fans and it ended up being the best decision we made all day.
Unfortunately, we couldn't get a makeup counter to do our makeup for us. It was ok though, we headed back to the apartment and did our nails and make-up.
(Not sure you needed the visual of this, but I was adjusting the settings on my camera when I took this and figured I met as well throw it in here.)
The wedding was in Brooklyn, which proved to be a little more challenging than anticipated. We found the ceremony site, at a friend of Mae's townhouse, with no trouble, but finding a before wedding snack was a little hard. Thank god for sushi, because I had three glasses of champagne- which in no way led to my crying through the very beautiful ceremony. Mae and her husband wrote their own vows, which were really beautiful and there were only about 50 of us there, so the whole ceremony felt very intimate and special. Also, I got to see Mae's parents for the first time in a few years, which was really nice. Her Dad is a professional photographer and he took my grad pictures and they drove Mae and I to numerous plays and practices and dance competitions when we were growing up. Her Dad even snuck us in to see the bride before the ceremony, which I'm sure is a major faux-pas, but Mae was totally gracious and lovely as usual.
The reception was at the Prospect Park Boathouse, a little over a mile away. Insert massive problem here. Brooklyn has cabs, but they aren't yellow cabs, and it took a few hours of being there for me to be able to spot one. Teddi and I had a drink and a snack in a local bar and then miraculously caught a cab in the drizzle and headed to the park. Only, our cab driver (who charged an indecent $8.00 for the 3 minute ride) didn't drop us off at the boathouse. He dropped us off at the picnic house. Which is on the opposite side of the park.
We got directions from no less than 6 people, trudged through mud in heels, wandered around the park for 30 minutes, tried to consult a map, and had a panic attack (me) before some poor couple with their baby took pity on us and walked us to the boathouse. Whoever you are, thank you thank you thank you. Again. Because I was starting to doubt we would ever make it out of the damn park again, much less to the reception.
We got to the reception, washed our feet off, had some more champagne and all was well with the world. The Prospect Park Boathouse is really pretty (once you find it) and we had a great time, eating, drinking, dancing a little bit and mingling with the various guests.
We got an excellent and efficient ride back to Manhattan after the reception and hung out at Teddi's apartment before meeting up with Al and her boyfriend at Dorrian's. I'm not sure how I was still standing at this point, having consumed several glasses of champagne, a beer, and roughly three gin and tonics- more alcohol than I have had since a friend of J's got married back in February. It made for an interesting evening though and it was so great to be back together; I only wish Z could have joined us. We're planning a girl's trip to Myrtle Beach at the end of September- it'll be the first time since graduation (2007) that we've all been in the same place at once.
The next day, Teddi and I got up and had brunch at Le Pain Quotidien. It was delightful. My only regret is not getting the extra danish. Part of me loves that restaurants in NY show calorie counts on menus and part of me knows that if they didn't, I would have had the danish. Afterwards, we ran a few errands, stopped by Momofuku Milk Bar and then went to see "In the Heights" on Broadway! It was amazing! It was my first show on Broadway and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was literally so good that I didn't want it to end. The music, the dancing, the plot, everything. And it wasn't terribly heavy, which I appreciate- J took me to see "Spring Awakening" in May and it was amazing, but also terribly depressing. "In the Heights" was the perfect way to end my New York week-end.
My flight was delayed and I got home late and exhausted and ultimately came down with a terrible cold last week, but my time in New York was exactly what I needed. It was so wonderful to see Teddi, I felt honored to be a part of Mae's big day, and the time away really cleared my head.
Oh, New York. It was a glorious week-end. The flight there was a little rocky, but I have to hand it to Jetblue. They make it hard to want to fly any other airline. I checked my bag for free, I got my own TV on the plane- which distracted me from the two ladies I was sitting next to who were direct off the set of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and I got free snacks and drinks. And, bonus, the flight attendants were actually really nice. I stepped off the plane into an oppressively hot and sunny NYC. And someone promptly sneezed on me. Still, it seemed like New York was trying so hard at this summer thing and since the last time I saw her I was freezing my tootsies off, I managed to be totally charmed.
I got a cab and went straight to Teddi's apartment. Seeing her was a total delight. We gabbed for a bit and then I handed her this:
Can I just say how much I freakin' adore Mario Batali? I forgive him his orange crocs. J took me to Babbo for my twenty-fifth Birthday and it was the best meal of my entire life. Otto was not quite as good, but it was still pretty delicious.
Teddi:
Me:
The wedding was in Brooklyn, which proved to be a little more challenging than anticipated. We found the ceremony site, at a friend of Mae's townhouse, with no trouble, but finding a before wedding snack was a little hard. Thank god for sushi, because I had three glasses of champagne- which in no way led to my crying through the very beautiful ceremony. Mae and her husband wrote their own vows, which were really beautiful and there were only about 50 of us there, so the whole ceremony felt very intimate and special. Also, I got to see Mae's parents for the first time in a few years, which was really nice. Her Dad is a professional photographer and he took my grad pictures and they drove Mae and I to numerous plays and practices and dance competitions when we were growing up. Her Dad even snuck us in to see the bride before the ceremony, which I'm sure is a major faux-pas, but Mae was totally gracious and lovely as usual.
We got directions from no less than 6 people, trudged through mud in heels, wandered around the park for 30 minutes, tried to consult a map, and had a panic attack (me) before some poor couple with their baby took pity on us and walked us to the boathouse. Whoever you are, thank you thank you thank you. Again. Because I was starting to doubt we would ever make it out of the damn park again, much less to the reception.
We got to the reception, washed our feet off, had some more champagne and all was well with the world. The Prospect Park Boathouse is really pretty (once you find it) and we had a great time, eating, drinking, dancing a little bit and mingling with the various guests.
The next day, Teddi and I got up and had brunch at Le Pain Quotidien. It was delightful. My only regret is not getting the extra danish. Part of me loves that restaurants in NY show calorie counts on menus and part of me knows that if they didn't, I would have had the danish. Afterwards, we ran a few errands, stopped by Momofuku Milk Bar and then went to see "In the Heights" on Broadway! It was amazing! It was my first show on Broadway and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was literally so good that I didn't want it to end. The music, the dancing, the plot, everything. And it wasn't terribly heavy, which I appreciate- J took me to see "Spring Awakening" in May and it was amazing, but also terribly depressing. "In the Heights" was the perfect way to end my New York week-end.
Momofuku Cookies: Confetti, Blueberry Cream and Compost. I brought these home to J, who promptly ate all but half the Compost, which I had to hide from him.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
You can get with this or you can get with that.
(Unclear. The internets tell me it's by Black Sheep.)
Wednesday. Confessions.
- I get irrationally upset at inanimate objects. In particular, I have a hate-hate filled relationship with our terrible toaster. It's like something out of a movie. It does nothing well. It's too narrow for bagels, too shallow for toaster waffles, and it either burns your toast or doesn't toast it at all. Fail toaster.
- Thus, I have already started a list of things we need to register for. A toaster, a new welcome mat for our front door, and a new ice cream maker are all on there. I'm debating whether or not to put the Dyson I've been pining over for years on there... I might leave J for whoever finally buys me that vacuum.
- I look at food blogs and clip recipes while I'm in my classes. If it's one I can listen to, then it's no problem... and if it's a visual chat, I just check back every five minutes and read to catch up. I hate sitting around, waiting for the next line of text to appear. And I'm usually starving in my classes anyway so it's a good way to figure out what to have for dinner.
- I sometimes cry at commercials. Currently, the Toyota one where they give the girl with the bakery her own car. Have you seen it? It's a tearjerker, seriously.
- Also, I love love love the Kia commercials with the hamsters. God, that might be the most embarrassing thing I've admitted on here. I'm not usually a fan of that anthropomorphic business, but I really like those damn hamsters.
- This might be related to the above: the previews are my favorite part of going to the movies. I've actually refused to see movies with J if we've already missed them.
Wednesday. Confessions.
- I get irrationally upset at inanimate objects. In particular, I have a hate-hate filled relationship with our terrible toaster. It's like something out of a movie. It does nothing well. It's too narrow for bagels, too shallow for toaster waffles, and it either burns your toast or doesn't toast it at all. Fail toaster.
- Thus, I have already started a list of things we need to register for. A toaster, a new welcome mat for our front door, and a new ice cream maker are all on there. I'm debating whether or not to put the Dyson I've been pining over for years on there... I might leave J for whoever finally buys me that vacuum.
- I look at food blogs and clip recipes while I'm in my classes. If it's one I can listen to, then it's no problem... and if it's a visual chat, I just check back every five minutes and read to catch up. I hate sitting around, waiting for the next line of text to appear. And I'm usually starving in my classes anyway so it's a good way to figure out what to have for dinner.
- I sometimes cry at commercials. Currently, the Toyota one where they give the girl with the bakery her own car. Have you seen it? It's a tearjerker, seriously.
- Also, I love love love the Kia commercials with the hamsters. God, that might be the most embarrassing thing I've admitted on here. I'm not usually a fan of that anthropomorphic business, but I really like those damn hamsters.
- This might be related to the above: the previews are my favorite part of going to the movies. I've actually refused to see movies with J if we've already missed them.
Monday, July 19, 2010
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.
(Bob Marley cover)
Ah, blogging from Starbuck's. Isn't this how I last left you, dear internets? Deja vu. Brighthouse has an area outage that's covering our whole neighborhood, so I'm using some free wifi for my class tonight. It's less than ideal, because Starbuck's has to have just about the hardest chairs on the planet, but it's forcing me to be online for a few hours for the first time in a while so I suppose that's a perk. I haven't been avoiding you, oh internets, I've just been really tired. And my real world life has been keeping me quite occupied. I owe you a proper post about my trip to NY, but I don't have my pictures on this computer and it's a post that you really need pictures to appreciate. For now, suffice to say that minus getting lost in Prospect Park in heels, it was an amazing trip. Mae's wedding was beautiful, Teddi and I ate a ton of amazing food and drank too much (I did have that mojito, but I forgot to snap a picture of it) and laughed even more, she agreed to be one of my bridesmaids, and we saw "In the Heights" on Broadway- which was insanely good. In short, it was exactly what I needed.
The past week has been pretty action packed, too, what with booking our venue for our wedding location and all. (Squeeee!) We're seriously thrilled and I'm seriously relieved to have one major thing checked off. Besides that, we played some pool with J&S, I fought an aggressive and nasty cold, and we drove up to J's sister's house to see her and play with the babies. I feel really lucky to be marrying into such an amazing family and talking to his sister made me feel relieved on a lot of fronts. The niece and nephew are adorable (and getting so big) and it was a much needed break from our regularly scheduled programming.
But getting back to it. There are two weeks of summer semester left and then I have three whole weeks off before we plunge into fall. We just got the news that Jimmy is moving back to our glorious state and Alicia will be here at the end of August as well. Until then, I'm going to focus on plowing through the last of papers and exams, soaking up some sun, and getting my butt back to the gym. Coming soon, post-wise... a dedication to my lovely bridesmaids, the NY recap, and a foodie themed confessions. Because, yes, I have already started a list of things we need to register for and a new toaster is at the very freakin' top.
Ah, blogging from Starbuck's. Isn't this how I last left you, dear internets? Deja vu. Brighthouse has an area outage that's covering our whole neighborhood, so I'm using some free wifi for my class tonight. It's less than ideal, because Starbuck's has to have just about the hardest chairs on the planet, but it's forcing me to be online for a few hours for the first time in a while so I suppose that's a perk. I haven't been avoiding you, oh internets, I've just been really tired. And my real world life has been keeping me quite occupied. I owe you a proper post about my trip to NY, but I don't have my pictures on this computer and it's a post that you really need pictures to appreciate. For now, suffice to say that minus getting lost in Prospect Park in heels, it was an amazing trip. Mae's wedding was beautiful, Teddi and I ate a ton of amazing food and drank too much (I did have that mojito, but I forgot to snap a picture of it) and laughed even more, she agreed to be one of my bridesmaids, and we saw "In the Heights" on Broadway- which was insanely good. In short, it was exactly what I needed.
The past week has been pretty action packed, too, what with booking our venue for our wedding location and all. (Squeeee!) We're seriously thrilled and I'm seriously relieved to have one major thing checked off. Besides that, we played some pool with J&S, I fought an aggressive and nasty cold, and we drove up to J's sister's house to see her and play with the babies. I feel really lucky to be marrying into such an amazing family and talking to his sister made me feel relieved on a lot of fronts. The niece and nephew are adorable (and getting so big) and it was a much needed break from our regularly scheduled programming.
But getting back to it. There are two weeks of summer semester left and then I have three whole weeks off before we plunge into fall. We just got the news that Jimmy is moving back to our glorious state and Alicia will be here at the end of August as well. Until then, I'm going to focus on plowing through the last of papers and exams, soaking up some sun, and getting my butt back to the gym. Coming soon, post-wise... a dedication to my lovely bridesmaids, the NY recap, and a foodie themed confessions. Because, yes, I have already started a list of things we need to register for and a new toaster is at the very freakin' top.
Friday, July 9, 2010
And I ain't got no worries, 'cause I'm in no hurry at all
(The Doobie Brothers)
I'm sitting in the airport, about three hours early for my flight. I fucking hate flying. It's half pure unadulterated fear and half the total loss of control over your own destiny. You can tell me till your blue in the face that driving is statistically more dangerous and rationally, I believe you, but in my heart I know that at least if I'm driving and someone turns to plow into me, I have half a chance of swerving. Or surviving. Not so in a plane, my friends. If that engine goes out, we are totally fucked. Which is what I think every time I have to get on one. Which is fairly often. And the more I fly, the worse my fear gets. How messed up is that? I think it's because I feel like I'm so lucky. Like I have so much and maybe I'm just... undeserving of so much.
I usually leave notes behind, like a just in case, but I didn't this morning. I truly feel like you should tell people how you feel, all the time- I say I love you more than anyone I know- and I mean it, I do, and I've worked really hard to settle things in my life and not have unfinished business. For any reason. Because it feels healthier in my life not to have baggage and pain and unsaid things. But, also because I have been known to walk into the street without looking both ways. Literally. So. In case you don't know. I forgave you a long time ago. Make sure they play "Freebird". Seriously. I love you, I love you, I love you. I hope you know it. And also. It has been such a grand adventure and I feel like the luckiest girl ever.
I am a nervous rambler. In case you couldn't tell.
I'm sitting in Starbucks... haven't gone through security yet. "Dream a Little Dream of Me" is playing. I love this song. It's on our wedding list. I'm drinking an iced vanilla latte and eating a fruit cup. What I really want is a McMuffin and a donut. Or maybe a McMuffin on a donut. Carbs make me less angsty. And I could use the protein. But, I'm thinking of all the food I'll be eating at Otto tonight. And how hard I've been working and how I'm trying to make healthier choices and blabbidy blah. I want bacon.
You know how they say "one bad apple ruins the bunch"? One bad piece of fruit ruins the whole fruit cup. It's so deceptive because they all look fine but then you bite into a skunky piece of cantaloupe and it's totally over. The fruit cup has ruined my trust. In hindsight drinking a bunch of caffeine seems... unwise. I feel jumpy.
It took me a ridiculous amount of time to check my bag, considering that I was already "checked in" and had my boarding pass... so I'm not anxious stand in another line and I still have three hours before we'll be boarding, so I'm really not in a hurry but something about waiting to do something just makes me extra anxious. Once the plane takes off, I'm fine. I guess because I know it's totally out of my hands then? Up until that point I can still pull a Final Destination and get the fuck off. Not that I would or ever have, but still. The actual flying part is fine as long as I'm not thinking about it. The thought of 30,000 feet in between me and solid ground makes me want to pass out.
There are times when I hold it all in and handle it really well and there's no rhyme or reason for it. Flying into DC in a blizzard when they had to take some crazy old man off our plane for suspicious behavior? It was so audacious, I was fine. Like, how much could go wrong with it? And it was fine. And it's always fine. But flying to Ohio with a bunch of sorority sisters? Total meltdown, on the phone with my Dad, had a stranger come over and ask me if I was ok. This morning seems to be somewhere in between. I'm really excited about this trip and I'm not gone long enough to be upset about leaving or missing. But this morning, I held on to J a little extra tight, and let Joe rub his face on mine even though it makes my allergies go haywire, and gave Sam some peanut butter... and tried not to cry on the phone with my Mom so I wouldn't make her worry. And I keep twirling my engagement ring around reminding myself that I am loved, that it's all going to be ok, that I just need to remember to breathe.
Which would be easier if Starbucks would play something a little upbeat. It is too fucking early for Fiona Apple. There is nothing more embarrassing than crying into your latte in an airport Starbucks. I'm going to have the biggest fucking mojito when I get to the city. New York and I have this semi-abusive friends with benefits relationship. I'm totally energized by it- it gives me sensory overload- and when I step into the street, I'm immediately smitten. After three days, I'm in love. But by day five, it's making me exhausted and cranky and broke and I'm ready to kick it out of bed. 48 hours in New York is the perfect amount of time. If I could just get there without having a nervous breakdown, that would be awesome.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
But pack your heart you might need it
(Deftones)
These past few days, these past few weeks, have been overwhelming and stress-y. I went to yoga yesterday morning trying to remember how to breathe. Just breathe and just be. To my eternal shock, it really helped. It helped to just relax and step outside of my life for an hour and be present in the moment. And maybe, really, that's what's been missing the last few weeks. Some people thrive off of constant chaos, others off of solitude and quiet. Personally, I am constantly striving to find that balance between the two. A few days of chaos will leave me craving my bathing suit and a new magazine for a few hours, but too much down time and I'll start overprogramming the next week so I feel caught up with my friends and my life and the world in general.
I have a tendency to rush into things headfirst. All or nothing. And this attitude, I know, is not always for the best. I don't mind the skinned knees as much as the broken hearts but more than guarding myself against others, I think I have to learn to guard against myself. No one is harder on me or expects more from me than I do. But, I'm not really my own biggest fan either... so there's no real balance there. I can have weeks of perfection, of checked off to-do lists, of thoughtfulness and patience towards others... and one bad morning will send me into a tailspin that will turn into a week or a month of struggles.
I am starting to see that if I want real change it is going to be an everyday effort, like everything else. That means starting everyday fresh. It means celebrating the tiny victories. And it means letting go of all the things I cannot control. And some of the things I can. They say it takes two months to make something into a lasting habit. So I am making a renewed effort to be kinder to myself, to focus on all the positives, and to start everyday hopeful that I can make it a good one.
I'm heading to New York this week-end to see my dear friend, Teddi, and go to my friend Mae's wedding. Mae and I have known each other since middle school and reconnected about a year ago and I'm overjoyed to be making this trip. I'm only in the city for 48 hours so I'm determined to make the most of it and really give myself a break. I want to eat, I want to dance, and I want to laugh till I'm totally exhausted.
These past few days, these past few weeks, have been overwhelming and stress-y. I went to yoga yesterday morning trying to remember how to breathe. Just breathe and just be. To my eternal shock, it really helped. It helped to just relax and step outside of my life for an hour and be present in the moment. And maybe, really, that's what's been missing the last few weeks. Some people thrive off of constant chaos, others off of solitude and quiet. Personally, I am constantly striving to find that balance between the two. A few days of chaos will leave me craving my bathing suit and a new magazine for a few hours, but too much down time and I'll start overprogramming the next week so I feel caught up with my friends and my life and the world in general.
I have a tendency to rush into things headfirst. All or nothing. And this attitude, I know, is not always for the best. I don't mind the skinned knees as much as the broken hearts but more than guarding myself against others, I think I have to learn to guard against myself. No one is harder on me or expects more from me than I do. But, I'm not really my own biggest fan either... so there's no real balance there. I can have weeks of perfection, of checked off to-do lists, of thoughtfulness and patience towards others... and one bad morning will send me into a tailspin that will turn into a week or a month of struggles.
I am starting to see that if I want real change it is going to be an everyday effort, like everything else. That means starting everyday fresh. It means celebrating the tiny victories. And it means letting go of all the things I cannot control. And some of the things I can. They say it takes two months to make something into a lasting habit. So I am making a renewed effort to be kinder to myself, to focus on all the positives, and to start everyday hopeful that I can make it a good one.
I'm heading to New York this week-end to see my dear friend, Teddi, and go to my friend Mae's wedding. Mae and I have known each other since middle school and reconnected about a year ago and I'm overjoyed to be making this trip. I'm only in the city for 48 hours so I'm determined to make the most of it and really give myself a break. I want to eat, I want to dance, and I want to laugh till I'm totally exhausted.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Got my head in the clouds, more like smoke in my eyes.
(Fight From Above)
Wednesday Confessional.
- From planning the guest list for our wedding, I have discovered that I do not have "casual" friends. If I'm friends with you, then I love you, and I'm in. It requires way more emotional energy to be this way and the first year I'm friends with someone, I feel consistently nervous to be investing and caring so much, but it's so worth it.
- I'm a hugger. I have learned over the years that some people are not and I try not to force my hugs on them and make them uncomfortable, but I'm a Southern girl. I hug, I say "I love you" to my friends frequently, and I think there is a food to cure most ills.
- I think women's razors are the single biggest beauty rip off in the world. Why are they so much more expensive than men's razors? And why are they so expensive to begin with? They have to cost like $1.00 to make, seriously. And who the hell does Venus think they are kidding anyway, making 15 versions of the same damn razor?
- Sometimes it takes a really long time for a song or an album to grow on me. But once it does, I can listen to the same one fifteen times in a row.
- I promised myself (and J) that once we booked the venue, I would cease wedding planning for at least a month. But I fell in love with a dress online. A dress that J loves. A dress by a Canadian designer. A dress that has become utterly impossible to get a hold of. So, I called the only store in Florida that carries the line (Alyne Bridal) only to be told that they don't, in fact, carry it. It is a division of a line called Rivini, which Solution Bridal here in Orlando does carry. So, I called them and spoke to a very helpful girl on the phone who informed me that they don't carry it because it's too similar to Watters designs, which they already carry. Which is having a trunk show at their salon on the 30th. Which I am now attending. She also sent me a lovely e-mail already. I am doomed. I am steeling myself to not buy the first dress I like. But you know how it went with choosing the venue... (Update: J found a salon in Florida that will have the full Alyne Bridal collection in either September or October. Ah-maz-ing. I really feel like I can't buy a dress until I try on that one that I love so much. So win-win. I can try on stuff and it'll keep me from buying anything until I try on the Alyne dress. If I hate it, I can always order something else.)
- Speaking of, I was watching "Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway?" the other day (confession enough in and of itself, right?) and one of the couples was getting married at our location. It made the whole thing feel suddenly really really real and I may have shed a tear. Or two.
- I've have a list of potential baby names that I started when I was 18. I add a few whenever I hear something I like.
Wednesday Confessional.
- From planning the guest list for our wedding, I have discovered that I do not have "casual" friends. If I'm friends with you, then I love you, and I'm in. It requires way more emotional energy to be this way and the first year I'm friends with someone, I feel consistently nervous to be investing and caring so much, but it's so worth it.
- I'm a hugger. I have learned over the years that some people are not and I try not to force my hugs on them and make them uncomfortable, but I'm a Southern girl. I hug, I say "I love you" to my friends frequently, and I think there is a food to cure most ills.
- I think women's razors are the single biggest beauty rip off in the world. Why are they so much more expensive than men's razors? And why are they so expensive to begin with? They have to cost like $1.00 to make, seriously. And who the hell does Venus think they are kidding anyway, making 15 versions of the same damn razor?
- Sometimes it takes a really long time for a song or an album to grow on me. But once it does, I can listen to the same one fifteen times in a row.
- I promised myself (and J) that once we booked the venue, I would cease wedding planning for at least a month. But I fell in love with a dress online. A dress that J loves. A dress by a Canadian designer. A dress that has become utterly impossible to get a hold of. So, I called the only store in Florida that carries the line (Alyne Bridal) only to be told that they don't, in fact, carry it. It is a division of a line called Rivini, which Solution Bridal here in Orlando does carry. So, I called them and spoke to a very helpful girl on the phone who informed me that they don't carry it because it's too similar to Watters designs, which they already carry. Which is having a trunk show at their salon on the 30th. Which I am now attending. She also sent me a lovely e-mail already. I am doomed. I am steeling myself to not buy the first dress I like. But you know how it went with choosing the venue... (Update: J found a salon in Florida that will have the full Alyne Bridal collection in either September or October. Ah-maz-ing. I really feel like I can't buy a dress until I try on that one that I love so much. So win-win. I can try on stuff and it'll keep me from buying anything until I try on the Alyne dress. If I hate it, I can always order something else.)
- Speaking of, I was watching "Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway?" the other day (confession enough in and of itself, right?) and one of the couples was getting married at our location. It made the whole thing feel suddenly really really real and I may have shed a tear. Or two.
- I've have a list of potential baby names that I started when I was 18. I add a few whenever I hear something I like.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Take me one more time, take me one more wave, take me for one last ride
(Deftones)
Monday Mix-Tape... is not a mix this week. I've been listening to Deftones' latest album, Diamond Eyes, a lot lately. The album shares a lot of similarities with White Pony which is the first Deftones' album I fell in love with. I think that a lot of people feel that way. Diamond Eyes is obviously more evolved than their first two efforts, much as I love Around the Fur, but it comes off sounding more natural and less produced than Saturday Night Wrist or Deftones.
Diamond Eyes is also a less angry sounding album than Saturday Night Wrist, at least in part due to Chi's unfortunate accident and the decision by the band to shelved their original follow up album, Eros, in favor of starting fresh with a different bassist. It's a credit to both the band and Sergio Vega that the sound and quality remain true to Deftones standards. Chi's shoes are large and hard to fill. (For more information about the Deftones' bassist, Chi Cheng, his accident and recovery, or to donate money to help pay for his medical expenses please visit One Love for Chi). The album is full of fantasy and imagery and there are some seriously beautiful lyrics in there. But, it's also Deftones. You have to be prepared for a certain amount of violence and screaming.
The more I listen to it the more I think it really does sound a lot like White Pony. Cheno's vocals run the full gamut here, as they did there, from ethereal to brash. I said once that I thought his voice sounds like sex and after listening to this, you really can't deny it. There's a lot of power there, but there's a lot of finesse too. If a song like "Rocket Skates" bashes you over the head, then there's one right behind it, like "Sextape" that's a total caress. The album remains cohesive in spite of showing such a range, which is a credit to the band. The songs match each other, if that makes sense. "Sextape" is probably my favorite song on the album, much in the way that "Digital Bath" was my favorite on White Pony. It's lush and rich and sexy but in spite of the name, it doesn't sound nearly as dangerous or ominous as "Digital Bath" did. It doesn't have that same violent edge... and if "Digital Bath" was full of that twisted admiration then "Sextape" is pure naked longing.
Deftones continues to do what they do best on Diamond Eyes, which is so uniquely their sound. It's hard and soft, edgy and smooth, driving and drifting. One of the best things they have going for them, in my opinion, is their ability to not only tell a story, but sell it to you. They really make you feel those emotions, whether they're genuine or not. And if their lyrics are often nonsensical, it seems not to matter, when you're caught in one of their waves. Love love love.
Monday Mix-Tape... is not a mix this week. I've been listening to Deftones' latest album, Diamond Eyes, a lot lately. The album shares a lot of similarities with White Pony which is the first Deftones' album I fell in love with. I think that a lot of people feel that way. Diamond Eyes is obviously more evolved than their first two efforts, much as I love Around the Fur, but it comes off sounding more natural and less produced than Saturday Night Wrist or Deftones.
Diamond Eyes is also a less angry sounding album than Saturday Night Wrist, at least in part due to Chi's unfortunate accident and the decision by the band to shelved their original follow up album, Eros, in favor of starting fresh with a different bassist. It's a credit to both the band and Sergio Vega that the sound and quality remain true to Deftones standards. Chi's shoes are large and hard to fill. (For more information about the Deftones' bassist, Chi Cheng, his accident and recovery, or to donate money to help pay for his medical expenses please visit One Love for Chi). The album is full of fantasy and imagery and there are some seriously beautiful lyrics in there. But, it's also Deftones. You have to be prepared for a certain amount of violence and screaming.
The more I listen to it the more I think it really does sound a lot like White Pony. Cheno's vocals run the full gamut here, as they did there, from ethereal to brash. I said once that I thought his voice sounds like sex and after listening to this, you really can't deny it. There's a lot of power there, but there's a lot of finesse too. If a song like "Rocket Skates" bashes you over the head, then there's one right behind it, like "Sextape" that's a total caress. The album remains cohesive in spite of showing such a range, which is a credit to the band. The songs match each other, if that makes sense. "Sextape" is probably my favorite song on the album, much in the way that "Digital Bath" was my favorite on White Pony. It's lush and rich and sexy but in spite of the name, it doesn't sound nearly as dangerous or ominous as "Digital Bath" did. It doesn't have that same violent edge... and if "Digital Bath" was full of that twisted admiration then "Sextape" is pure naked longing.
Deftones continues to do what they do best on Diamond Eyes, which is so uniquely their sound. It's hard and soft, edgy and smooth, driving and drifting. One of the best things they have going for them, in my opinion, is their ability to not only tell a story, but sell it to you. They really make you feel those emotions, whether they're genuine or not. And if their lyrics are often nonsensical, it seems not to matter, when you're caught in one of their waves. Love love love.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Cruising through the city, after hours, with me. Fusing all our powers. Here's to all our dreams.
(Deftones)
In the library today, it's my week-end rotation at the internship. I had a vanilla latte on the way in here and the caffeine is coursing through my veins and making me feel quite sprightly for the first time in days. Last week was rough. It was nothing in particular, except a ton of stress coupled with hormones, that got dropped in my lap out of the blue. Monday night, M called me and asked if I would go to the doctor with her. She passed out Saturday, face planted into a wall, and thought she might have a concussion. I was in the middle of class, but M never asks me for anything and I knew if she needed me enough to call she really needed me. A trip to the walk-in clinic confirmed that she needed to go to the ER, which is where we sat for the next six hours. She's fine now, all the tests came back normal, and she took some time off and rested- which was probably what she needed most. Still, it was a little bit scary and very stressful. The emergency room is no fun.
The rest of the week was just really overwhelming. J and I went to another possible wedding location and it only really confirmed that we want the site that we thought we wanted. We went ahead and put our hold on it and hopefully we'll be able to work out the contract and put our deposit down early next week. Once it's set it stone, I'll feel like I can talk about it without jinxing anything. We love the site though- we're planning on doing both the ceremony and the reception there- and it's beautiful. We can have a combined indoor and outdoor space, we need minimal decorations because the space is already so beautiful, and the coordinator we've been working with there has been great about responding to us quickly and answering any and all questions we have. And it's just within our price point. It's perfect, but I guess I was worried about just signing the first place we saw. But, lesson learned. When you love it, you love it and really, you should just do it.
On top of that, summer semester only has about a month left and the work is piling on. I utterly loathe group work. We already had one crazy paranoid group member that had to be removed after falsely accusing the rest of the group of plagiarizing her work. I'm not entirely sure what she wanted us to do other than literally quote and cite each of her contributions, which is pretty insane and random for a collaborative essay- on ethics, no less. She also felt like we purposely excluded her from our group discussion and that she was so intimidated (virtually) that she couldn't talk to us directly, but had to involved our professor without ever trying to resolve or even mention the problem to us first. Anyway, the situation culminated in a vitriolic e-mail directed at one group member in particular and left us all feeling pretty weirded out. I'm fairly no nonsense and professional in my groups. Like, I'm polite, but it's online and I'm not trying to make friends. I have a limited amount of time I want to spend dealing with inane bullshit. Now, I feel like we have to all hold hands and (virtually) sing kumbaya or something. Like, we're all adults here. Man the fuck up.
Now, my group has decided that the best time for us to hold a weekly group meeting is on Friday nights. Really. Could they pick a more universally inconvenient time? Granted, my Friday nights of late have not been as exciting as they once were, but even if I am in bed next to a sleeping J by 10:00 reading the latest Sookie Stackhouse book, I assure you I would much rather be doing that than having a group meeting. Blargh. Additionally, Sam's mange has come back (mildly, thank god we caught it super early) which is not fun- for anyone. I am actively trying to find a job. Weddings are expensive. I applied for one position at a library that I have applied for three other times. I also sent in my resume to two professors in my college that are looking for a research assistant. Tuition reimbursement would be amazing. I'm still looking for other places to apply. I really just need something, but god it would be awesome if it was something I could actually put on my resume.
All of this stuff culminated in two very bad days on Tuesday and Wednesday, which J definitely took the brunt of. Make no mistake though, the boy is no doormat. He can definitely dish it out just as much as I can. Though, he usually softens up first. By, Thursday things were starting to look brighter- figuratively, if not literally, because we've had the grayest few days of summer so far yesterday and today. It's kind of a nice break from all the heat though, especially since I know it won't last.
On happy notes, my stress hasn't kept me from the gym. This is the third week in a row that I've managed to get in there at least three times. Which makes me feel both happy and accomplished. Even if I can't necessarily see a difference, knowing that I'm in there makes me feel better. Also, my best friend from high school (and one of my bridesmaids) Sara, agreed to do mine and J's engagement photos! I'm really happy, Sara has a great eye, and I think it'll be a really fun day. Speaking of bridesmaids, I've asked all my bridesmaids but one! (And they all said yes.) Olive even started to cry when I asked her over lunch yesterday, which was pretty awesome, as she is the most stoic of all my friends. After I've asked everyone, I'll let you know what I came up with for the asking, I was pretty happy with how it all came out.
There are lots of events to look forward to. Tomorrow is one of my most favorite holidays. I love the Fourth of July. Small clothing, booze, grilled foods, and pretty explosions. What more could you ask for? J is going to be working most of the day, but we're meeting up with J2&ST for some food and fireworks in a local park. Next week is going to be a bit hectic, I'm heading to New York City and Brooklyn next week-end to go to my oldest friend's wedding. Teds is going to be my date and we have lots of other fun (and food related) things planned, including a dinner at Mario Batali's restaurant Otto. I've been dreaming about it for weeks. Next month, my best friend Z is coming down so we can do a bunch of wedding related things which I am ecstatic about... and there is a trip to Atlanta that I really need to plan, and dress shopping, and a girl's trip to Ocean Isle, NC. and Court is coming down Labor Day week-end... J and I also really need to make plans to go see his sister. The babies are growing by the minute and I don't want to miss a thing. Oh! And Jimmy will be making an appearance in August that I'm really hoping will become permanent.
This summer has already been so eventful, it's hard to believe that it's only halfway over. It's amazing how far you can come in a year. I squandered away all my sunshine last summer, fretting and stressing and feeling pretty out of my element. This summer I am doing my best to soak it all up. The everyday things are the best. Taking Sam to the dog park, laying out next to a deserted pool, eating dinner with J every night. Even as I'm devouring every wedding magazine I can get my hands on and wasting away hours on the Knot, I'm trying really hard not to lose sight of just how grand all this is and the reason why we're doing it.
In the library today, it's my week-end rotation at the internship. I had a vanilla latte on the way in here and the caffeine is coursing through my veins and making me feel quite sprightly for the first time in days. Last week was rough. It was nothing in particular, except a ton of stress coupled with hormones, that got dropped in my lap out of the blue. Monday night, M called me and asked if I would go to the doctor with her. She passed out Saturday, face planted into a wall, and thought she might have a concussion. I was in the middle of class, but M never asks me for anything and I knew if she needed me enough to call she really needed me. A trip to the walk-in clinic confirmed that she needed to go to the ER, which is where we sat for the next six hours. She's fine now, all the tests came back normal, and she took some time off and rested- which was probably what she needed most. Still, it was a little bit scary and very stressful. The emergency room is no fun.
The rest of the week was just really overwhelming. J and I went to another possible wedding location and it only really confirmed that we want the site that we thought we wanted. We went ahead and put our hold on it and hopefully we'll be able to work out the contract and put our deposit down early next week. Once it's set it stone, I'll feel like I can talk about it without jinxing anything. We love the site though- we're planning on doing both the ceremony and the reception there- and it's beautiful. We can have a combined indoor and outdoor space, we need minimal decorations because the space is already so beautiful, and the coordinator we've been working with there has been great about responding to us quickly and answering any and all questions we have. And it's just within our price point. It's perfect, but I guess I was worried about just signing the first place we saw. But, lesson learned. When you love it, you love it and really, you should just do it.
On top of that, summer semester only has about a month left and the work is piling on. I utterly loathe group work. We already had one crazy paranoid group member that had to be removed after falsely accusing the rest of the group of plagiarizing her work. I'm not entirely sure what she wanted us to do other than literally quote and cite each of her contributions, which is pretty insane and random for a collaborative essay- on ethics, no less. She also felt like we purposely excluded her from our group discussion and that she was so intimidated (virtually) that she couldn't talk to us directly, but had to involved our professor without ever trying to resolve or even mention the problem to us first. Anyway, the situation culminated in a vitriolic e-mail directed at one group member in particular and left us all feeling pretty weirded out. I'm fairly no nonsense and professional in my groups. Like, I'm polite, but it's online and I'm not trying to make friends. I have a limited amount of time I want to spend dealing with inane bullshit. Now, I feel like we have to all hold hands and (virtually) sing kumbaya or something. Like, we're all adults here. Man the fuck up.
Now, my group has decided that the best time for us to hold a weekly group meeting is on Friday nights. Really. Could they pick a more universally inconvenient time? Granted, my Friday nights of late have not been as exciting as they once were, but even if I am in bed next to a sleeping J by 10:00 reading the latest Sookie Stackhouse book, I assure you I would much rather be doing that than having a group meeting. Blargh. Additionally, Sam's mange has come back (mildly, thank god we caught it super early) which is not fun- for anyone. I am actively trying to find a job. Weddings are expensive. I applied for one position at a library that I have applied for three other times. I also sent in my resume to two professors in my college that are looking for a research assistant. Tuition reimbursement would be amazing. I'm still looking for other places to apply. I really just need something, but god it would be awesome if it was something I could actually put on my resume.
All of this stuff culminated in two very bad days on Tuesday and Wednesday, which J definitely took the brunt of. Make no mistake though, the boy is no doormat. He can definitely dish it out just as much as I can. Though, he usually softens up first. By, Thursday things were starting to look brighter- figuratively, if not literally, because we've had the grayest few days of summer so far yesterday and today. It's kind of a nice break from all the heat though, especially since I know it won't last.
On happy notes, my stress hasn't kept me from the gym. This is the third week in a row that I've managed to get in there at least three times. Which makes me feel both happy and accomplished. Even if I can't necessarily see a difference, knowing that I'm in there makes me feel better. Also, my best friend from high school (and one of my bridesmaids) Sara, agreed to do mine and J's engagement photos! I'm really happy, Sara has a great eye, and I think it'll be a really fun day. Speaking of bridesmaids, I've asked all my bridesmaids but one! (And they all said yes.) Olive even started to cry when I asked her over lunch yesterday, which was pretty awesome, as she is the most stoic of all my friends. After I've asked everyone, I'll let you know what I came up with for the asking, I was pretty happy with how it all came out.
There are lots of events to look forward to. Tomorrow is one of my most favorite holidays. I love the Fourth of July. Small clothing, booze, grilled foods, and pretty explosions. What more could you ask for? J is going to be working most of the day, but we're meeting up with J2&ST for some food and fireworks in a local park. Next week is going to be a bit hectic, I'm heading to New York City and Brooklyn next week-end to go to my oldest friend's wedding. Teds is going to be my date and we have lots of other fun (and food related) things planned, including a dinner at Mario Batali's restaurant Otto. I've been dreaming about it for weeks. Next month, my best friend Z is coming down so we can do a bunch of wedding related things which I am ecstatic about... and there is a trip to Atlanta that I really need to plan, and dress shopping, and a girl's trip to Ocean Isle, NC. and Court is coming down Labor Day week-end... J and I also really need to make plans to go see his sister. The babies are growing by the minute and I don't want to miss a thing. Oh! And Jimmy will be making an appearance in August that I'm really hoping will become permanent.
This summer has already been so eventful, it's hard to believe that it's only halfway over. It's amazing how far you can come in a year. I squandered away all my sunshine last summer, fretting and stressing and feeling pretty out of my element. This summer I am doing my best to soak it all up. The everyday things are the best. Taking Sam to the dog park, laying out next to a deserted pool, eating dinner with J every night. Even as I'm devouring every wedding magazine I can get my hands on and wasting away hours on the Knot, I'm trying really hard not to lose sight of just how grand all this is and the reason why we're doing it.
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