don't wanna take it slow, wanna take you home

and watch the world explode, from underneath your clothes

(Deftones)

Oh my god, you guys, this album is just so good. It gets better and better and better. There's this click inside when I fall in love with a song and every few weeks another song on Diamond Eyes just moves me. I have to keep writing about it because all summer long and now well into the fall, I keep turning around and finding myself listening to another track repeatedly. It started with "Sextape", then "976-Evil", then "Risk". Last week it was "Diamond Eyes". This week it's "You've Seen the Butcher". If I had to say the difference between this album and all the other Deftones' albums, it would be that this takes the best of all of them. The ethereal beauty of White Pony, the lushness on Saturday Night Wrist, the hard riffs and jagged edges from Around the Fur. The things that make Deftones so unique, so contrary... the way that it can sound soft and yet dangerous at the same time... this album is all that and more. And I have to keep writing about it because for the first time, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it.

The one thing that bothers me more than anything else in my relationship with J is not being able to share this with him. It's not that he doesn't like music or that he doesn't care, but it's just not what moves him. And this is the first time that I've been with someone who doesn't connect music with the same emotion or the same needs that I do. In some ways, it's really a positive thing. In the past, I've confused emotions with music with emotions for someone who loves the same music. Thought that we had more in common than we did, or more of a connection than we did. Thought that someone who felt so passionate about the same piece of music would feel that way about me. J feels that passion, but for other things. Like, me. For example.

And I get that. How does your favorite music make you feel? Happy, moved, connected? When I hear something I really, truly love it feels like someone has reached into the space between my ribs and grabbed hold. I close my eyes and lean my head back. I'm hyper-aware of my fingertips, the arch in my back, the breath in my lungs. I could jump out of a plane and not feel more alive than I do when I hear Chino's voice or the opening drums on "The Hollow" and that guitar riff on "Big Empty"? It's indescribable. And it's incredibly intimate and personal. Talking about music with someone makes me feel vulnerable... and it's like religion or politics, it's not something I'd do with just anybody.

So, if it's a comic book or going to church or your career or a book or photography or whatever it is that does that for you, I get it. But listening to this album has made me change my mind. I would sell a kidney to go see Deftones live again. To be with other people that love them. Because while I would totally rather J love me more than some silly little song, I do miss being able to gush with somebody over it, to sing in the car together or to be at a show, surrounded by that energy, totally swept up in the moment.

when things start splitting at the seams, and now... the whole thing's tumbling down

(Band of Horses)

I wrote this a few days ago and apparently never posted it.

I am actually up at 5:15 this morning. J had the early shift at work and I couldn't go back to sleep. I find it really hard to sleep without him now. I've watched too much "Law and Order". So, I went ahead and got up, thinking that I could have a not completely hectic morning. But, of course, when you get up early, you get involved in 50 things at once and then you end up not starting your regular morning stuff until later than normal.

Also, it's only Tuesday and I've already found this week really stressful. My direct supervisor is gone for a week long trip. I came in yesterday and found out that I've been writing down call numbers on the title pages of books incorrectly AND that I haven't been formatting cutter numbers without an author properly. I mean, I have been doing it "properly" but every library sort of does it a little differently and apparently, I misunderstood what was wanted. So, I had to go gather up all of the books I've done (200+ titles), check them for mistakes, and fix them. Totally mortifying.

Oh! And they told me last week that I can't have more than 30 hours a week or they have to reclassify me as full time, and the library isn't authorized for another full time employee... so a. I have no idea if this collections management business will be a permanent addition to my job or not, b. I have no idea if they are suggesting that I can take over a 16 hour position and do it in just 6 hours a week, and c. that makes it pretty apparent that when I need a full time job I have to look elsewhere, huh? I feel really bad complaining about this because I know that I'm so lucky to have found a part-time paid position in my field when I'm still in school and they are willing to teach me, which is really nice- they're even paying for me to go to this conference in December. 


And most of the time, when I'm actually here, at my desk, working, I'm fine. It's just a very different environment from what I'm used to and I'm already tired of it being made so apparent that I'm not only the new kid on the block, but also the lowest man on the totem pole. This note: "Barcodes: Can they be placed approximately the same please?" Is sort of my point.

In general though? Life is good. I can't believe it's already the end of October. Particularly because the high here today is 91. It's supposed to "cool off" towards the end of the week, meaning highs of 80 and 81. I'm heading to DC in two weeks to spend some quality time with Z and I am really looking forward to wearing a scarf outside. Since the only place I've been wearing one lately is in my office. (Yes, seriously.) Fall has been epically busy. Between school, work, other work, wedding planning, traveling, and being quite the social butterfly... I have been totally swamped. Which is probably why I went to bed at 9:30 last night. Still, I have a few things planned before October slips away this week-end: Disney on Friday, a trip home on Saturday to belatedly celebrate my Mom's Birthday, and then a Haunted Swamp tour on Saturday night. Sunday is going to be full of homework. Hopefully I'll be able to sneak a long walk with Sam in there...

I can't believe November is almost here!

You think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway

(Scissor Sisters)

Confessions.

- Lots of nights, the last thing I say to my fiance is... "Love you but... don't want to cuddle." I'm a super light sleeper and the temp has to be right and the pillows and lots of white noise going on for me to fall asleep, which means that cuddling is nice- when we're watching TV, but totally distracting when I'm trying to drift off.

- As a kid, I'd only drink soda from a can if it was room temperature.

- My biggest fear about the wedding is that no one will dance.

- I've loved my program, but I am really ready for school to be over. This whole working all day and then going home and sitting in class for two hours thing blows.

- But I still haven't completely decided if I'm graduating in May or August.

- This is my first Halloween without buying any candy.

- And that sort of makes me long for a ba-beh so I can dress it up like a ladybug and buy a whole bag of candy it's too small to eat. I guess if one of my friends has one first I can still use that as an excuse for candy...

I've been waiting so long, to be where I'm going

(Cream)

I have moments where I feel like we can't possibly be adults. The responsibility and the pressure is just too much. I want someone to hold my hand and pay my electric bill. And then, I think about J. And I just feel so relieved. Like, I can do this if I know that you're next to me. And then I balance our checkbook and I'm like, awesome, sometimes we are doing better than I think we are.

So, kids, I have a wedding dress! I can't tell you what it looks like because the fiance does pop over here occasionally and it's not physically in my possession yet but, it has been ordered and I really love it! It's actually not what I originally thought I wanted, but it's very "me" and had several elements that I already knew I liked. And that's all I can really say about that. Except that I am so happy! Both to have the dress I love and to be done searching!

I ordered it from Bridals by Lori on our trip to Atlanta last week-end. Wonderful, awesome trip.  We stayed with Winnie and her husband (also a J) and they are just the best hosts. Friday night, we had dinner at Woodfire Grill, Kevin Gillespie's restaurant. If you watched Top Chef last year, you'll know who I'm talking about- the bearded one. The food was good enough, but we did the tasting menu which had a paltry amount of food (And I'm not one of those American eat everything on my plate please give me enough food for a family of four type people. And I know what a tasting menu sized portion normally is. This was still small.) and the courses were timed really slowly. I know they were slammed, but having 30 minutes between tasting menu courses just makes you extra hungry. I ate my dessert and J's and still felt unsatisfied. But, much champagne was consumed, so you know. It was a good night.

Winnie and I braved Bridals by Lori the next day to try to find the dress. I was really nervous before we went, for a lot of reasons. Dress shopping thus far had obviously not gone as well as I'd have hoped. I was nervous because Bridals by Lori is such a big store, with so many brides, and the reviews about it were decidedly mixed. Although the sales person that was assigned to me was sick and not there, and I had to be shuffled to someone else, I ended up quite happy with the whole experience. Winnie was fantastic and supportive and level-headed throughout the whole day, Bridals by Lori had an excellent selection of dresses, I didn't feel pressured, they tried really hard to be aware of my budget, I loved the dress I decided on- which was less expensive than the one I ordered to try on, and they had a web cam on the runway so my Mom could even see me.

All in all, it was the first time that I was able to relax and have fun with dress shopping. I also felt like the decision was totally mine and while Winnie was excited for me and told me how pretty everything was, she didn't get over emotional and that made me able to focus and be clear-headed about the whole process and the decision. Which, once I decided, I got totally giddy and didn't want to take the dress off. Totally happy with my experience. Although, some champagne to celebrate would have been a nice addition. The dress gets in sometime in March, so I'll head back up to Atlanta then for my first fitting- I think Z might come and we'll make a week-end of it. And then I'm going to bring my Mom up there with me for my final fitting.

The Js were at the movies seeing "Jackass" while we were dress shopping, so we all met up for some lunch after. That night, J and I met up with one of his friends from High School and her boyfriend for dinner at Bistro Nico. More food, more champagne, lots of fun. I ended up calling it a night a little early since I was fighting off a cold, but otherwise I think we could have talked all night. His friend, A, is actually friends with my friend KT from my internship, which just goes to show what a small world it is. Once we got back to Winnie's, we all sat out on their deck around their fire pit with cider, swapping stories. A perfect end to a fall night.

I was sad to leave on Sunday morning. We all had brunch at Goldberg's before J and I headed back. It was a gorgeous, albeit slightly warm, fall day. I love Atlanta and could totally see us living there. It has lots of the perks of being in a big city- like a plethora of amazing restaurants- but I also never felt crowded or overwhelmed. And it is most definitely Southern. It was one of the most relaxing trips that J and I have been able to take together and I'm really looking forward to heading back soon.

But it is nice to be home. The moments that I feel the luckiest are totally mundane. Chasing the dog around the hallway, drinking coffee with a book on the couch, curled up in bed next to J watching late night TV. As much as I know that our little townhouse isn't permanent, it is terribly lovely for a first home. I've never been anywhere that felt so "ours" or so mine or even so permanent. Probably because I have never been with someone that has made me feel so secure or loved or stable. Home is where you are.

While there's still something left to save.

(Rise Against)


As I become more neurotic in some things, I become less so in others. I have given up on trying to read things because I feel like I should. (A bad habit instilled in me from being a Lit major.) This summer, instead of trying to finally get through War and Peace, I read whatever I felt like. I'm not sure how often I'll feature what I'm reading here because not everything I read is really worth sharing, but I'm thinking that at least once a month I'll give you my personal recommendations.


I love the HBO series "True Blood", so it's no surprise that I plowed through the Stookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris (also known as the Southern Vampire series). There are ten of them and I've been loaning various ones out to a lot of my friends. The first three are a little slow, the fourth one is amazing but is sort of unique as far as the plot of the whole series goes, and I could not put the last five down. Seriously. I was trying so hard to wait until after this last season of TB ended before I read the 10th book, but I couldn't wait. I hope Harris comes out with the next one soon. 

J likes both fantasy/sci fi and young adult books. After he convinced me to read the Harry Potter series last year (and I shockingly really liked it) we both read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. For YA lit, it's really good. So I was excited to see Rick Riordan start a new series of novels, also based on mythology- this time instead of Greek, Egyptian. I read The Red Pyramid early in the summer and it wasn't bad. I'm interested to see how the series develops.


Let's see... also of note... in the past few months I've read Eat, Pray, Love (meh), The Debutante Divorcee (not bad!), Twilight and New Moon (ugh, I fear for the the youth of America), The Moonlit Earth by Christopher Rice (Who I love! But I thought this was his worst novel.), The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (All so graphic, I wouldn't recommend them to anyone. I really loved the first one, which is why I suffered through the second one... I still haven't finished the third one.), The Buenes Aires Broken Hearts Club (also, not bad), Summer at Tiffany (very cute), Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman (very different but I really enjoyed it), and Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson. I really love Joshilyn Jackson. She does a great job of writing about the South like a native, without being immune to its many flaws. Her stories are always compelling and they are unpredictable without making you feel like you've been mislead about the characters or their history.


Right now, I’m reading the Hannah Swensen series by Joanne Fluke- mysteries that have a baker as the main character. Every other chapter has a recipe at the end! They're light but really entertaining and they always make me want a cookie.


P.S. Why is blogger so funky with its formatting? I worked on getting the spacing in between the paragraphs on this post where they were supposed to be for almost an hour before I gave up and published it as is. Sorry.

after the fire, after all the rain, I will be the flame

(Cheap Trick)

So, I've come to realize that while we often mark life by these big events (hello wedding) what really defines who we are is the day to day stuff. The mundane... like the first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the year, or finding a new favorite eyeshadow, or a stupid pop song that you can't get out of your head. It's the reason why Twitter has become so popular (check out mine on the left)... because these little thoughts, little things, little moments... they're what we really live with everyday. So, the current stuff in my life?

• Tarte cosmetics. I love their Rise and Shine lip stain and gloss duo. It's light enough that it gives my lips some color, but it's appropriate for my conservative workplace. 
• And on that same note... The Goodie spin pin is amazing. I don’t know how it works with people that have thicker hair than mine, which is super fine and stick straight… and I’m sure that you’re not actually supposed to see the pins in your hair (but my bun is too small for them to not to stick out) but it really does work.
• Fantasy Football. Seriously, I'm so into it. Who knew?
• Kind bars. I love them even more than Lara bars.
• Bad eighties love songs. I mean, really cheesy. My Dad compiled some music for me and J as possibilities for the wedding... the Spanish guitar music is lovely, but the rest of it is interesting. I don't think we'd use most of it, but I have found myself jamming out to it on the way to work in the morning... I'm talking Patrick Swayze "She's Like the Wind", Cheap Trick "The Flame", Bruce Springsteen "I'm on Fire", Berlin "Take My Breath Away". It's kind of awesome.

Little girl, little girl you should close your eyes

(Marilyn Manson)

I'm going to put a disclaimer right at the top of this one. If you are: one of my parents, an ex-boyfriend, someone who doesn't know me very well and doesn't want to know me better, or is offended by talking casually about sex... you should probably skip this one.

Hmmm. I thought long and hard about how to best broach this one. No pun intended. Some play music during the act because they want to set a mood, others because they need to *ahem* muffle things- especially when you live with other people. I've been thoroughly turned off or disappointed in a partner's choice of music. Ranging from mildly disturbing to incredibly awkward, I could make a top 20 list of what NOT to play when you're trying to get into someones pants. But, I won't. Suffice to say, Bob Marley or Mr. Roboto? Not so much. So, in no particular order, my top five favorite songs for, ya know.

- Marilyn Manson: "Heart-Shaped Glasses". Delicious. Dark. Dangerous. Don't watch the video if you're even a little squeamish.

- Deftones: "Digital Bath" or "Change (In the House of Flies)" or  "Passenger" (featuring Maynard James Keenan) or... anything by the Deftones really. Chino Moreno's voice really does sound like sex. I'm not alone in this estimation either... Ranker lists "Change" on their Top 10 List of Songs to have sex to as well.

- A Perfect Circle: "The Noose". It's mildly dark and more than a little passive aggressive, but this song always sounded like a soundtrack to two people undressing each other to me.

- Audioslave: "Cochise". The intro to this song is priceless. The whole album is actually really well suited to knocking boots.

- Death Cab for Cutie: "We Laugh Indoors". Random, I know. But it's mellow enough to not be distracting and it has much more mass appeal than the other songs I've named. It's slightly sweet, a little sad, and makes very good background music.

Bonus! - Minus the Bear: "The Game Needed Me". Just listen to the lyrics. Trust me. (Double Bonus: Minus the Bear: "The Fix".)

I don't feel the need to explain my art to you, Warren.

(Empire Records)

I heard someone in a class argue one time that the music you listen to in high school will be the music that you like for the rest of your life. I don't totally agree, but I see the point. It might not be the music that I listen to the most anymore or think is the best or even enjoy the most, but the music I listened to in high school is the music that I judge everything else by. It's what I compare new music to, it's what I reach for whenever a really strong emotion hits, it's the music that reminds me the most of particular moments or times.

I feel sort of the same way about movies. My favorite movies as a teen are obviously different from my favorite movies as a kid, but both are what I use to measure how much I like something else. In high school, I wouldn't date you if you didn't like at least four out of five of my favorite movies.

1. Almost Famous... Obviously. What's not to love? Jason Lee, Billy Crudup, Kate Hudson at her best, awesome clothes, better music, and a lopsided love triangle. Really. I still watch this movie all the time.

2. Reality Bites... Sigh. I love this movie, even though I don't know anyone else who's even seen it. I caught part of it on TV once in middle school and it's been love ever since. Wynona Ryder and Ethan Hawke have the absolute best chemistry in this movie. And I've grown to appreciate this movie more as I've gotten older. "I was really going to be something by the age of 23." It's a nice reminder that there's life after all your grand plans don't work out the way you thought they would.

3. Chasing Amy... My favorite from the View Askew Universe. Joey Lauren Adams, Ben Affleck, and a super skeezy Jason Lee. This movie is so funny and I think it's also a pretty brutally honest look at relationships and how fragile they can be.

4. Empire Records... This was my best friend in high school, Danielle's, favorite movie ever and she could recite the whole thing word for word. I've seen it so many times, now I can too. It's a little kitschy but it's also a total cult classic. So funny and so very early nineties.

5. The Princess Bride... I remember watching this with my Mom when I was really small. Being a kid who was sick all the time, I totally appreciated that the narrator is reading a story to his sick grandson. There's so much that makes The Princess Bride great... Cary Elwes, Andre the Giant and Mandy Patinkin, sword fights, epic kisses, adventure and the Dread Pirate Roberts. It was magical then, it's magical now.

Closely followed by: Donnie Darko, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Also, a Muppets Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas movie and I won't date someone who won't watch it with me. (A Christmas Story is my Mom's favorite and it doesn't feel like Christmas without it. But the Muppets, you just can't beat them.)

Such a sweet sensation

(Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch)

A music themed confessions!

- I listen to a mix of Classical and Frank Sinatra radio via Last.FM while I'm at work... even though I wear headphones and no one really knows what I'm listening to.

- I play Marky Mark in the middle of the afternoon around 2:00pm when I'm working... I usually need a boost around then and the fact that no one can tell what I'm listening to makes me smile.

- I actually really love the Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch station on Last.FM. It's all Color Me Badd, Heavy D, C+C Music Factory, "Groove is in the Heart", MC Hammer, "What is Love?", and of course new Kids on the Block... basically the MTV of my childhood. The early 90's were almost more ridiculous than the 80's. I'm going to embarrass the crap out of my kids one day listening to this junk. Especially if I get that XM Satellite radio and it's readily available.

- In a moment of cardio induced weakness, I downloaded a few of Ke$ha's songs for my workout mix. Now I can't get "Your Love is My Drug" out of my head.

- I love Kylie Minogue. There, I said it.

- And Rod Stewart. Don't judge me.

It's better than I ever knew.

(Incubus)

You ever have a day where everything seems to go wrong? Yesterday, I had a day where everything went right. It could have gone completely the opposite direction. I woke up feeling tired and anxious. I was in a rush to get to work so I could get online and register for spring classes, I had an assignment to finish and a uncooperative website that was postponing it, and I was nervous about trying on the dress this week-end. Plus, I had tentative plans to meet up with an old friend I hadn't seen in a really long time and I didn't really know how it would pan out. I was fully prepared to come home drained and overwhelmed.

Instead? I got excellent news all day. I registered for classes and got into all of my first choices. My supervisor at work confirmed that I'll be picking up additional hours and collection management duties, which is incredibly exciting. Everyone in my class was having problems with the website for our assignment, so my instructor gave us an extension. The dress arrived at Bridals by Lori yesterday and is waiting for me and my Saturday appointment. And my coffee with Tina? Was fantastic. We sat and talked for over two hours and made plans to get together again really soon. I ran a few errands, talked to my parents, came home, and made dinner for me and J.

And at the end of it all, I just felt so happy and grateful. I have a lovely home, a job that I enjoy, amazing experiences and the best people to share it with.

leaving on a southern train only yesterday you lied

(Stone Temple Pilots)

Some of my favorite, previously on hiatus or disbanded, bands have gotten back together and decided to tour recently. Most notably, of course, A Perfect Circle who is currently only touring on the west coast... and Stone Temple Pilots, who is coming literally right down the road from me. Which has left me to ponder certain changes in attitude I've developed since the last time I went... because it's been quite a few years since I've been to a larger show that had a real standing room only area.

I used to go all the time, but so much of going to concerts is a matter of time, money and company. Most of my friends don't really have the same taste in music as I do; going to shows was something I almost exclusively did with whoever I was dating. Being in D.C. seriously halted my cash flow for concerts and I adore J but he's not really a concert goer. Which is actually somehow pretty ok with me. I've found that I lack the desire I once had to actually go see a band.

I like people now even less than I did as an undergrad. The thought of standing in a crowd of sweaty, dirty, pushing people makes me want to kick and scream. I can't say with any certainty that I actually wouldn't kick and scream if I was in that situation again. And I threw down a few times at a show before with some stupid girl... I definitely wouldn't now. It's not safe. You never know what kind of crazy you're going to run into these days... or how hard it will be to get rid of it.

And that's just the issue with standing room only... even if we did get seats, it's just... the loudness. And I'd want to dance and sway and whatnot... and that's sort of awkward if the person you're with isn't also super into the music. I cried, both at STP and APC, and I just don't think I'd be comfortable getting that emotional with a bunch of strangers in that kind of setting again. All that communal energy? Just, suddenly not so appealing.

In short, I am too old for this shit. No matter how much I still love the music, I'd sort of just rather rock out in the relative privacy of my car.

Also, I've been listening to the classical music station on last.fm at work non-stop... it's beautiful, soothing, and makes me long for rosin, tights, and a nice long barre warm-up. Did you know I also drink tea and have cookies almost every night? I'm actually an eighty year old British woman.

views of the water, right from a page of your favorite author

(Kanye West)

I was lucky enough to spend not one, but two gorgeous September week-ends on the beach. J took me to Amelia Island for a post-anniversary, engagement, alone time week-end. It was glorious. We got in Friday night and didn't leave the hotel room till dinner Saturday. I laid out on our balcony and read, we watched movies, ordered room service and drank champagne. I can't wait till we can do it again.

and right out the other

(Cage the Elephant)

Oh, it's been awhile since we had a good confessions session, huh?

- A few things have been buzzing around my brain recently. B mentioned his tendency for multiple personalities when we spoke. (There's confession one right there.) And it got me to thinking. I am someone that has a dark current. I am in a little rough around the edges, but I think I do a pretty fine job of hiding it a lot of the time. I am naturally attracted to other people that are a little rough around the edges. Even if that just means that I like tattoos and facial hair.

- I play lots of things pretty close to my heart. I'm pretty open about a lot of things mostly because I feel defiant- like, you will not shame me for being who I am or doing what I want. But when it comes to how I think or feel about something, I'm realizing more and more that I'm just not usually comfortable sharing.

- My new job is with an organization that has a faith-based background. It doesn't really have much to do with the work I do, but it is a unique job environment. And it's made me really question how I feel about certain things and why I feel that way. I hope that I am able to raise children that have more faith in all things, even the everyday, than I do. Having faith in anything doesn't come naturally to me.

- I knew this before, but it has never been more true from the process of planning a wedding. Everyone has an opinion about your decisions. How much money you spend, how much you don't spend, what you spend it on, where you honeymoon, what music you play, etc etc. It's true in life, too. And I think I have finally realized that I am never going to be able to please everyone else all of the time. That I have to do what's right for me, regardless of what anyone else wants to think about it or say about it. But that's easier said than done.

how can I live in the past now? i'm trying to think the future

(Tantric)

There's nothing quite like going through all of your music, accumulated over the past 10 plus years, to bring up all kinds of nostalgia. I'm currently trying and failing to find a good way to get it all it one place (thanks for being completely unhelpful iTunes) and organized and easily accessible. I had an external hard drive which then turned around and crashed on me. I wish there was a way to do all of it online, so that I don't have to rely on my own shitty technology to back-up priceless memories, rare random singles I only listen to occasionally, and an obscene amount of money that I've spent acquiring all this. SIGH. It's going to take me forever just to rip the music off of an iPhone, iPod, two laptops, an external hard drive, and the desktop.... and all of the CDs. Remember those things? Why did we think that MP3s were an improvement again?

Our lips are sealed.

(The Go-Go's.)

Last week-end, the girls and I went to Myrtle Beach for the week-end. "The girls" being me, Z, Teddi, and AEG. I'm blessed to have lots of close girl friends but, they're not really one big "group" of friends that are all friends with each other. I mean, being in a sorority a lot of us know each other, for sure, but we're not all friends with the same people or as close to the same people. And a lot of the time I sort of prefer one on one interaction. I'm selfish that way sometimes.

Everyone is living in all different places now... it sucks in some ways, but it also lets you know who will make you a priority and who you'll make a priority. When it comes down to long distance calls and plane rides to stay close, you quickly figure out who you're true friends are. Plus, you know, you have those friends that you'll always see as "the girls"... you know that you'll be 80 and they'll remind you of how you were when you were 18. There's this quote from My So-Called Life about the friends that have known you forever and they know you in a way that other people can't because they've watched you change.

Which is why I got on a plane at 7:30 Friday morning, stopped in Atlanta, got on another plane at 9:30... that was so small I could see the propellers MOVING outside my window (terrifying) landed in Florence, SC (which might be a lovely place but sure as hell has the smallest airport I've ever seen) and then drove an hour over to the coast to pick the girls up at the Myrtle Beach airport. There was sun, there was champagne, there was some much needed girl time. All in all, it was totally lovely and I can't wait for our next adventure.

Behold, my awesome packing skills. Not only did I get everything into two carry-ons, including my laptop, but they both fit under my seat:

The plane was seriously tiny. 

Typical Teddi:

Why, yes, my friends did pack two bottles of wine and a bottle of champagne in their luggage! 

The view from our balcony:

How awesome is our pool?

Checking out the view...

Yup, it's all gossip, pillow fights and braiding each other's hair... Seriously though, check out my handiwork. Doesn't Z's hair look great? I wish mine was long enough to fishtail braid.

So we started at this bar called "Ocean Annie's" based on some joker's recommendation. Joke was on us, as we were the youngest people there by a good 15-20 years. Lots of cute dancing couples...

Went to some place called "Broadway" which is like the Downtown Disney of Bars. Sought a much needed drink. Found an Irish Bar. Thus... Carbombs.

Chocolate cake shots.

Double dutch. Which lead to the most memorable line of the evening... "Who does she think she is? Interrupting double dutch!"

Thriller:

Royal flushes.

I SO want XM Satellite Radio now! This led to an impromptu dance party in the car. My love for Marky Mark cannot be contained.

One last view of the water...

Such a fun time! It was totally the worth the fourteen hour, Delta Airlines fueled hell of getting back to Orlando on Sunday. ;)

in between molecules of oxygen and carbon dioxide

(Weezer)

October arrived a few days ago and it was like fall was suddenly inexplicably upon us. Sure, there had been little changes for a week or so... the heat wasn't quite so humid, the light was a tiny bit whiter, it was actually kind of cool in the mornings... But then it rained for five days. Hot, humid, sheets of grey rain. Friday got here, the first day of October, and it's like the Florida weather took a massive dose of Prozac. It's so beautiful, I just want to lay outside and bask. And for those of you unfamiliar with Florida's version of fall... It's about 75 this morning but it'll get to 84 or 85 today, totally clear blue skies, light breeze, low humidity. Perfection.

I had several thoughts on Friday morning... "It's one year exactly until our wedding and I hope that it's equally beautiful a year from now". (Thank to the Weather Channel's "My Wedding" page, I know that it hasn't rained on October 1st since 2007. So, I'm hopeful.) Also, "Holy crap, I can't believe I'm getting married in a year!" And, "It's October? How did it get to be October? Wasn't it just June?"

My Mom actually called me first thing Friday morning because it's what she likes to call "my weather" outside. Even though I say summer is my favorite season- and in a lot of ways it is- fall is what always made me feel energized and excited as a kid. Teddi mentioned in her blog the other day that fall is "the start of everything new". I totally agree. After this long hot summer, I have never been more ready for fall and everything it brings. It's been a breath of fresh air, literally. It makes me want to open all the windows in the house, even though it really isn't quite cool enough for that yet. I can't wait for Sundays with football on in the background and all the windows open and the house full of people. And picking out pumpkins and Christmas trees. And sweaters and boots and jeans. And drinking warm drinks. And watching the Macy's Day parade with my Dad. And driving with the windows down.

This week-end has been full of nothing and yet totally glorious. I went to the library and came out with an armful of cookbooks. I really love the library, all the infinite possibilities. Especially when I'm not working in it. I went to the gym. Yoga has been really good for me. I worked on homework and felt mildly accomplished. I took Sam to the dog park. J and I had Friday night pizza and then split an ice cream cone. I dug out the Halloween decorations. This is what I love about the holiday season, about fall in general... it's so full of ritual and routine and small little moments. Today will be spent finishing up some homework, meeting a friend for coffee, running some errands and doing some stuff around the house and blogging. I have a lot of things that I've been meaning to sit down and talk about for awhile... and today I'm taking the time to get it all out.