(Lostprophets)
Mildly related/Staccato/I don't have time for a real post, but lots to say:
- I turned twenty-seven last week. There was a Tiffany box and much food and "Wicked". It was delightful. I was going to do a post all in pictures... but then life got in the way.
- Facebook is evil, part 1. I am totally fine that one of my ex-boyfriends got married over the week-end. However, it ever so mildly freaks me out that they got hitched at OUR venue and they're honeymooning in OUR destination, as well. It's just... weird.
- JLM is moving to Fort Worth in two months. I was talking to him on the phone last week and I kept thinking that his voice hasn't changed at all, but we have. So much. It's kind of miraculous that we've managed to make our friendship last.
- Facebook is evil, part 2. Reading about an incident involving my sorority chapter and a fraternity that I used to spend a lot of time with is making me ill, angry, and disheartened.
- Approximately 17 days till our annual girl's trip and only about 23 days of school left! I am equal parts ecstatic and nervous and omg, there's so so so much to do before then. A major paper and two major group projects and lots of little things in between then and now.
- I cannot wait to for our Annual Girl's Trip, too many cocktails, Gone with the Wind, hopefully trying on my wedding dress, gossip, girl talk, and carbs with Winnie and Z.
- I cannot wait to come home and not have to go to school, deal with group members, listen to lectures, and to finally be able to apply to jobs that I'm qualified for and not only those I'm way overqualified for.
- I am still searching for a job. Every. day.
- No, I have not worked out in months. Yes, I am more than partially responsible for why we are not running that 5k during our Annual Girl's Trip this year.
- I am making my peace with my body.
- Which is not to say that I don't have goals.
- Summer goals: use my gym membership, learn how to coupon effectively, take another photography class, figure out how to upgrade (and regularly update) my blog, and find a big girl job.
- I miss my friends. I'm really ready to see everyone a lot in the next few months.
- For every day I have that I am totally overwhelmed, I have one where I rise above it... I will never not freak out and get wound up about things that are totally not in my control. But, I'm also trying to see the situations where it's really not about me, or my fault, or my problem, and the places where worrying about it isn't going to help.
- Our engagement photos are next week. Coffee themed. I adore our photographers and I'm really excited.
- My wedding dress is ever so slightly MIA. I am not quite worried yet. Thank god I ordered it so far in advance.
- I am over wedding planning right now. I mean, I still care. I just don't want to have to actually make decisions and execute things right now. And I'll get over it... in about three weeks when school is over and I feel like I can have my life back.
- Honeymoon plans... San Francisco, Napa Valley, and Lake Tahoe... I am so. so. excited.
- I adore you. Every time I think that I can't possibly handle another day of job hunting, school, dog hair, and being angry at the internet... I think of you and us and how impossibly lucky I am to have found you and as trite and hallmark as it sounds, it makes it all so much better.
- I cannot wait to marry you.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
it's a reason, why I'm here
(Oleander)
My little space is going through a transition phase, much like my personal life right now. After several rough months, the light at the end of the tunnel is finally growing closer. J and I are insanely happy and insanely busy, but once life settles down a little bit (ha) I'm planning on shaking things up here. Quite a lot.
My little space is going through a transition phase, much like my personal life right now. After several rough months, the light at the end of the tunnel is finally growing closer. J and I are insanely happy and insanely busy, but once life settles down a little bit (ha) I'm planning on shaking things up here. Quite a lot.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
burn all the evidence, a fabricated disbelief
(Cage the Elephant)
Confessions. A day late, I know.
- When I want to make a point in an e-mail, I use the same word twice in a row: "also also" or "and and" are frequent. It's so obnoxious, but I can't help it.
- I'm causing quite the brouhaha at work. My (older female) coworker has been invading my personal space, smacking my arm for emphasis, and the other day she put her hand on my thigh during a meeting with my supervisor. I'm the most affectionate person on the planet (Really! I'm Southern. We hug. A lot.) and I've never been in a situation (outside of boys or bars) where someone has touched me in a way that I've found offensive. My boss told his boss who talked to the woman who has since apologized but also lectured me about the way I handled it. Honestly, the situation, like other situations at this particular job, has spiraled out of my control. I've never worked somewhere that isn't ridiculously professional and where I haven't totally excelled. Maybe it's wrong, but I don't really think the problem is me. I don't think it's ever appropriate to touch someone without their permission, especially a coworker. You never know how they've been raised or what they're dealing with or even just whether or not it would be welcome. Why would you assume it was ok? I think I just need to move to another position elsewhere as soon as possible. Which is causing me no small amount of stress.
- I dream almost every night and I often dream about people I know- but not as they are now, as they were in the past. Like, if I have a dream about JLM it's not him now, it's us at 18 or 20. And it's not just ex-boyfriends, either.
- My training for this 5k in April with Winnie and Z is not. going. well. I've never wanted to prove something to myself so badly and yet, I can't seem to find the time or the energy to make it happen.
- On a positive note? I've never been so freaking ecstatic to see March! Good things are on the way, I believe it.
Confessions. A day late, I know.
- When I want to make a point in an e-mail, I use the same word twice in a row: "also also" or "and and" are frequent. It's so obnoxious, but I can't help it.
- I'm causing quite the brouhaha at work. My (older female) coworker has been invading my personal space, smacking my arm for emphasis, and the other day she put her hand on my thigh during a meeting with my supervisor. I'm the most affectionate person on the planet (Really! I'm Southern. We hug. A lot.) and I've never been in a situation (outside of boys or bars) where someone has touched me in a way that I've found offensive. My boss told his boss who talked to the woman who has since apologized but also lectured me about the way I handled it. Honestly, the situation, like other situations at this particular job, has spiraled out of my control. I've never worked somewhere that isn't ridiculously professional and where I haven't totally excelled. Maybe it's wrong, but I don't really think the problem is me. I don't think it's ever appropriate to touch someone without their permission, especially a coworker. You never know how they've been raised or what they're dealing with or even just whether or not it would be welcome. Why would you assume it was ok? I think I just need to move to another position elsewhere as soon as possible. Which is causing me no small amount of stress.
- I dream almost every night and I often dream about people I know- but not as they are now, as they were in the past. Like, if I have a dream about JLM it's not him now, it's us at 18 or 20. And it's not just ex-boyfriends, either.
- My training for this 5k in April with Winnie and Z is not. going. well. I've never wanted to prove something to myself so badly and yet, I can't seem to find the time or the energy to make it happen.
- On a positive note? I've never been so freaking ecstatic to see March! Good things are on the way, I believe it.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
singing songs ain't got no regrets
(The Black Crowes)
Why isn't there a mid-rock station? Have you ever noticed that? There's "classic" rock which usually spans from 1970-1989 and then "new" rock which takes over from 1990-present. (And oldies, but I'm not going there.) At what point does "new" rock become "classic"? Because 1990 was, oh, 21 years ago. Grunge is officially legal to drink- doesn't that make you feel old? Anyway, I posed this question hypothetically in the car with J the other day. Quickly followed up by how amazing it would be if there was a station that played rock from the late 80's to the early 2000's. (Incidentally, yes, I am aware that XM has this. But I am a poor grad student and have to make do with last.fm.)
J promptly told me that no one would listen to it. Apparently, I'm the only one that thinks that most rock has gone to shit since Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. I mean, I love classic rock, too, don't get me wrong, but I don't always want to listen to it. It's not mine in the way that the music I grew up to was. I try to remember that, whenever things are hard, or scary, or not going my way... that something is mine in a way that no one can ever take away from me. I think I'm lucky to feel that way about music.
Anyway. I forgot where I was going with this. I think my point was that I've started listening to the Black Crowes again and it makes me happy. I can't remember where else I was going with this... Just been listening to a lot of music lately. I've been having trouble compiling the various playlists associated with the wedding because I can't narrow down what I love and also figure out what everyone else will want to listen to. I've also been buying a bunch of new (to me) music. Remembering people and places and what summer feels like. Letting myself dream.
It feels right.
Why isn't there a mid-rock station? Have you ever noticed that? There's "classic" rock which usually spans from 1970-1989 and then "new" rock which takes over from 1990-present. (And oldies, but I'm not going there.) At what point does "new" rock become "classic"? Because 1990 was, oh, 21 years ago. Grunge is officially legal to drink- doesn't that make you feel old? Anyway, I posed this question hypothetically in the car with J the other day. Quickly followed up by how amazing it would be if there was a station that played rock from the late 80's to the early 2000's. (Incidentally, yes, I am aware that XM has this. But I am a poor grad student and have to make do with last.fm.)
J promptly told me that no one would listen to it. Apparently, I'm the only one that thinks that most rock has gone to shit since Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. I mean, I love classic rock, too, don't get me wrong, but I don't always want to listen to it. It's not mine in the way that the music I grew up to was. I try to remember that, whenever things are hard, or scary, or not going my way... that something is mine in a way that no one can ever take away from me. I think I'm lucky to feel that way about music.
Anyway. I forgot where I was going with this. I think my point was that I've started listening to the Black Crowes again and it makes me happy. I can't remember where else I was going with this... Just been listening to a lot of music lately. I've been having trouble compiling the various playlists associated with the wedding because I can't narrow down what I love and also figure out what everyone else will want to listen to. I've also been buying a bunch of new (to me) music. Remembering people and places and what summer feels like. Letting myself dream.
It feels right.
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